..i cried for a single piece of candy not knowing i still have a dozen in my pocket =p

“Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. “

I wrote this at the back of my speech comm notebook. Dated october 23,2007,,10:30pm.. Oh yeah! “Funny”. That’s what I have in mind and heart now when I reminisce what had happened to me just few months ago. I never thought I’ll came to a point like this that its as if Ive cried for a single piece of candy not knowing I still have a dozen in my pocket…see? How a funny thing life can be..lol my heart had been ripped out… yup,, I thought so.. but beyond that, I discovered that all those time I have been in love with the word LOVE and not so to the person behind it I maybe heartily cared a lot but you think its enough to be called LOVE?? Probably. But if it was.. It will last. since It did not. Therefore, it was not..hmmm sounds sour grapping..=p hahaha kidding aside,, the wonderful thing that had happened was that I learned how to be a whole person again. And I have given the chance to love and to be loved by one of the most wonderful person I’ve ever known. And I’m happy.. I perfectly understand now as the common line goes “ everything happens for a reason, It takes time to understand the reason and eventually you’ll be very thankful for what had happened”