April 1, 2008 (i hate u,, yess U!)

It was a sudden attack. Something I thought that already has a comma on it and hopefully a soon-to-be period was quick to produce a very big question mark. So big that it was ready to engulf all the stableness I had conjured in the last couple of days. A simple revelation that could be considered as merely accidental woke my a hundred and one doubts. I did not even look for it. I never investigated. I never asked because I didn't want to start the habit of nagging. Yet, it was there. It seemed as if the universe was telling me that something is wrong and here I am giving you the evidence you never bothered to take a second glance at before.Why am I pretending that everything's ok? Why do I keep on shutting my mouth, not uttering a single word that would let you have the slightest hint that I am indeed affected? Why do I make it look easy keeping everything bottled up when the truth remains that it's killing me? I can't afford to look vulnerable. Not to you nor to anyone else.