I sit at my bed, my whole body hunched over the keyboard and I try to write. My eyes seem too tired reading the articles I have researched in the net. And the muscles in my neck throb from hours of such posture. Its 9 o’clock in the evening and I frantically try to write a good script for the upcoming stage play., but nothing comes to my mind seems good enough. As my eyes wander from the screen, my thoughts drift into the stuff toys displayed in my desk. My entire week has been stressful, thinking and worrying with so many things. Again my eyes drift away from the screen, but this time its on the huge frame, and they catch a glimpse of a 2”x2” picture as part of the collage my eyes focus on that tiny picture. It has been 4 years since the last time I saw him. My eyes well up with tears and I remember.My family’s life seemed to be cruising along in happy mode when suddenly our world was rocked by the death of my brother, Tantan.. he was 22 then. Very young. Adventurous, happy-go-lucky. It was Saturday laughter-filled night. It was 11:30 in the evening when we received the worst news of our life. My bro’s friend, Nonoy knocked at our door asking help.He said that tantan was stabbed all over his body and he was dead. As I listened more carefully I immediately stop in my tracks thinking it was all just a bad dream. I need to shut him up to convince myself that what I was hearing was not true. We (mama, papa, me and nonoy) hurriedly went to the crime scene. My mom was the one driving and she wasn’t convince still to the things that Nonoy had been saying.. when we were there my mom just stopped the car and left it and went where my brother was. I decided to just stay in the car, praying so hard that it wasn’t happening, that my brother is ok. The world seemed like spinning when I heard mom yelling my brother’s name, and tears blurred my vision. At that point I realized, I was not dreaming..it was reality. Then I saw mom walking towards me. She hugged me and said that tantan was gone. I didn’t know how to react except to cry. We went back home. My mind flashed back to all the good times we had. After things began to sink in, I called my friends and our relatives so we could share the sorrows.
It has been 4 years since my bro passed away and I still think about him often. I have learned so much from him. He probably knew that he would die at an early age thats why he make the most of his life and enjoy it to the fullest.
Life may not always go your way, but just remember you were brought into this world for a reason. When someone dies, it can hurt a lot and be confusing, but dwelling on those negative feelings isn’t healthy. There are so many great memories we have of Tantan, and we choose to think about those instead and know that he is still with us..
xoxo,
menmen
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