tired, but not necessary in need of sleep. am so tired of this kind of life... Being so busy and so stressed out it hurts and if you have been following my planner/organizer notebook you would also know that my sleeping sucks.. seems like in the last couple of months so much has been dished onto my platter, the pile continues to grow. the more it grows the less hungry i am, and soon the food goes bad. im tired, weak, heavy heart, racing thoughts, in need of peace. To lie down just gives more time for the thoughts to race, to stay busy, brings more weakness, to care...not enough energy for that. lost... and so i sit, sit with a loss of words, blurred view of which direction i should take, and so i guess i'll sit here at the fork in the road and wait, wait for answers, wait for a change, any change.dontcha love to be lazy? wish there were a day that you didn't have to worry about anything? i really think that worrying takes a lot out of a person.... it's a lot of work to worry and if you take a lazy day, it really isn't lazy if your mind is going at full force since you're not doing anything else..... maybe it's better to have stuff to do so that your mind is worrying and running in over time..... just some thoughts to ponder..... :)
oh my! i really hate myself!! i went to church with him yesterday! =( oh man! i hate the fact that i didnt have the courage to refuse when he asked me out .. and i hate him for that..=(do really i??) he had this attitude that he does not care what other people might say as long we're both happy if they saw us together..in which i am not like.. what other people might say really matters to me...=( oh no! how will i handle this? him? and my feelings which about to go to something very dangerous and that is ---falling inlove! =( he kept on telling me that i need to worry for nothing and that things will just flow right..=( i dunno. i really dunno.. got tons of works to do such as studyin my lessons,make reviewers, my case analysis,organizing and directing my team.. exam is upcoming and so is the play.. i need to be very productive every single minute .. but how will i do that? he's always on my mind! =(
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