All About Germaine...

Happy Anniversary Babe!

2010-06-06T20:17:00.002+08:00

Nov. 12, 2007
"geee men-men our relationship men is not that strong anym0re.. am accepting it slowly right now.. You keep on telling me that you lose.. God men No your not..
IN OUR RELATIONSHIP AKO UNG MAY MALI NOT YOURS.. OK.. AM THE ONE WHO'S MAGULO, PARANOID, INSANE, pero eventhou am like that men i still think of you sa totoo lang....
wala naman problemang hindi napag uusapan dba. un nga lang if you want to m0ve you cge you can m0ve on. kasi alam k0 in myself am hurting you soo deeply..."

Once the separation had started I decided I knew certain mistakes I made and I wanted to better understand myself. I had discovered an internal argument and indecision of who I truly was. I guess after telling myself to willingly change I had lost who I was. .. I review my mail earlier and read this unforgettable lines.. If you would ask me how does it feel 3 years ago, I would surely shed so much tears while telling you.. but ask me now? I will smile and tell you that i have learned so much from this.. I realized what had happened before have been a good foundation and a great help for what we have now... Sincerely, I'll say Im happier :)

Our anniversary day just gone by last June 3, This day was what I had been awaiting for since it was my special day with him. its a different thing now. We had spent the day on foot. From breakfast mishaps, shopping for our foods, cook together, take pictures, the mall with treats.
And the sweetest thing he did, he prepared a candle light dinner for me :)

The following days were wonderful mixture of fun, passion, romance, playfulness, laughter, walks, and eating out. We never spent time apart enjoying what we had started to share within our hearts. I played video games where I would accidentally scream at a loss , wake him up from a light sleep or even gave him a foot-massage...

I started to feel a passion I had not embraced or thought would visit me in this degree. I have found a man of my heart that shares willingly as I do for the same interests, passions, desires, thoughts and much more. A man that doesn't want me to change but embraces me as I embrace him for each other as individuals sharing a new journey, a new path, a new love, a new romance, new laughter, new happiness.

A new beginning for us as we willingly share it together. :)

Feb. 11---- V&G fiesta

2010-02-22T07:23:00.003+08:00

last night we had dinner invitation at ninang linda's place.. the whole family is invited and i brought my baby wid moi. and the food was great! two-thumbs up wid mom..she cooked most of the main course.. ninang linda is mom's BESTEST friend..and its always her special request that mom should cook. :) we had a lil drink and we decided to go home earlier because he said he just wanted to spend some time alone with me. hehe we just went (my) home at around 9:30 and we watched tv and he went home after 2 hours..

anyways, we had some invitation during the fiesta but i decided to go to work and not to go anywhere my baby was busy this day also. but after lunch he texted me that he was in robinsons and asked me to meet him up there. we ate at shakeys and he bought some huge frames and we went home after :)

Feb 7, 2010----- Dad's 55th

2010-02-22T06:37:00.005+08:00

i invited len, ken and my baby for a sumptuous lunch at home. i went to church with issa and bro to attend the mass at sto niño church earlier, mom was one of the sponsors. we were seated at the back of the gentlemen who are members of Knights of Columbus, religious organization of professionals. dad used to be a part of them. he was formerly the deputy grand knight of the said fraternity. i was looking at them behind and i kept imagining that i was seein my dad's back. dad had exactly the same polo shirt like what theyre wearing. i couldnt help myself to ask God, why he took my dad too soon when in fact some of those gentlemen were obviously OLDER than dad. and i missed him so much.. we used to attend mass when he was still with us.

after we have attended the mass i bought flowers and vases. we went to leyte memorial park after wards, where our then residential house for 10 years was located.. the subdivision is right infront of the cemetery! LOL.. while we were on the way i couldnt help myself again not to feel the sadness.. though i have so many bitter memories on this place i missed it as much as i miss my dad and kuya.. we offered flowers to tantan and papa and went home i mean went to our new home at marasbaras.. :)

jan 31 Jogging Time

2010-02-22T06:31:00.003+08:00

huhuhu he waited outside of our house for about 30mins before i woke up..unfortunately twas 6am already.. its only then our conversation about our jogging session the other night sunk on my mind huhuhu we left home at 6:10am na! we had a 45 minutes-jogging then after my photo enthusiast partner took me some pix :)

this quite a good day-starting.. im hoping that we can do this often.. luvyah babe :)

the past weeks...

2010-02-03T20:03:00.006+08:00

i was SooO busy the past weeks thats why i havent had the chance to update my blog regularly(its one of my new year's resolution! ahaha)

January 18- my baby got back from manila via Philippine Airlines, and i was so worried at first because his last text message at around 3pm he said that they were on board already and i was expecting that at around 4pm hell text me to inform hes home.. and i got his text message almost 6pm na huhuhu

January 19- he gave me the pasulubong with kisses and hugs!

January 20- I got my hair rebound at Cristina's Salon (main branch) thanks for the 3 hairstylists who handled me :)

January 27- our first jogging for the year @ Astrodome and Rotary Park

January 29- we jogged @ Leyte Park

January 31- huhuhu he waited outside of our house for about 30mins before i woke up..unfortunately twas 6am already.. its only then our conversation about our jogging session the other night sunk on my mind huhuhu we left home at 6:10am na! we had a 45 minutes-jogging

A Rainy Sunday!

2010-01-17T09:11:00.004+08:00

i was awaken by my baby's call.. after hearing his voice, i realized how much i miss him T-T he's coming back tomorrow na yey! :)

anyways, today is my dearest friend birthday, angeli!! hapee beerdy!! i am one of those friends of her she had been sharing her day for the past three years now :) and its very touching because even though we are no longer college buddies our friendship remains :) im lucky to have a friend like her :) party @ her house 6pm tonight see yah.. here are some of our pictures last year at sunzibar

my handsome hero :) so keso, but so true :)

2010-01-15T06:00:00.004+08:00

Today is friday!! :) supposedly, this is the most exciting day among weekdays because a-2-day-rest days coming u but then my baby will leave for manila @ 1pm today.. :( i'll missed him of course..but its ok he will be back on monday afternoon.. :) please do take care baby ok??

before i went to bed last night, i had been thinking... that i am indeed so blessed of having him in me now. he's the only person who gives me so much importance and care and of course love..God. i wanna thank you for giving him to me.. i do appreciate him for giving all his best efforts for all those times that im down and not feeling well.. and i can see that no matter how tight his schedules are, he almost willing to do impossible just t0 be with me.. to see me and to comfort me.. babe, thank u.. for filling up the void when papa left us..:( youre pampering me too much babe... someday i know i can make it up to u.. Lord, i hope you will continue to be on our side so all our dreams together will come true and give us more strength to surpassed all the trials and our bad fights..

a Happy tiring tuesday :D

2010-01-12T20:20:00.004+08:00

this day is actually one of those many many weekdays  in my life that i found waking up at 6 in the morning the hardest thing to do..yeah.. so as usual i followed my routine..home-skul-work-skul-home.. :D and i considered him ---> as my lucky charm who never fails to put a smile on my face in between the stressful and tiring day :D he fetched me at the office (phic) for a cold rainy lunch. we went at robinson's mall and ate at shakeys :) (its one of our new year's resolution though, MINIMIZE Eating Out!! save! save!) and everytime we did, we always agreed that this day is an exemption ahahha ;p we just cant help it huhuu so after eating we'd some walking around the mall trying to find a toiletries organizer ... and there it is, after roaming around for few minutes we found it at the ladies' bag store booth... we got a cute one.. :P and out of the blue he said, choose which among these bags do you like... woOw!! i lab et! lol..  the  displayed bags were not moi type so i grabbed him at the department store (secossana section),,,:D (nilubos lubos ko na ang kabaitan ng baby koh!hehe) i got a midnight black in a silver strap shoulder bag hehehe.. thanks babe! sa uulitin lol.. :)

i was 45-minutes late and another red-printed numbers on my DTR hehehe its ok,, its all WORTH it hehehe

thank you babe :)

bad day after a good day (jan 7, 2008)

2010-01-08T06:14:00.002+08:00

urgh.. this day sucked! i feel so bad physically.. :( my head hurts! i i am experiencing heavy cramping, nausea... hais.. i texted my ho-we because i know seeing him would somehow make me feel better.. :) he's everything to me..and now im so scared of losing him again :( and i will try my best to do anything just to make him stay in love with me..

one of our new year's resolution is to save money.. and minimize our fancy restaurants visit..but grrrr we just can' help it... :( earlier tonight we had a dinner at sunzibar, you cant blame us they really had the best food.. im trying to be slimmer though but when im with him i just can';t control eating much and now i thin im gaining weight---again. urgh.

2010- My 21st New Year

2010-01-02T22:14:00.002+08:00

i want to thank you Lord that upto this day im still alive and has the chance to appreciate life and the beauty of the world.. though 2009 was a worst year for me-- my dad died..i still want to thank You for all the good things-- new house, new life with galvin, new career, i was able to travel out of the country.. i know everything that happens has its purpose and only YOU know it..i want to say sorry for all those people (intentionally and unintentionally) that i had hurt and thank you for all those who made 2009 somehow fun and memorable..
obviously, i havent accomplish my 2009 New Year's Resolution LOL.! and now i should set up another one hoping it will turn out right this time..

1. be patience in everything i do.
2. avoid mood swings
3. avoid impulsive decisions
4. be extra-sweet to my ho-we eherrm
5. be a good daughter to mom.
6. learn how to cook
7. find a good job at SG.
8. Earn on my own
9. Control my temper at all times
10. Calm down when things do not go on my way.

My One Great Love, Au Revoir

2009-11-11T11:03:00.005+08:00

Aug 27, 2009

It was past 8 in the evening when my dad was aching for a severe pain on his stomach. He was in an intense pain on many parts of his body for the past 2 weeks but at least it was all tolerable because of the pain killers that were given to him by his physician. And On the night of 27th of August, he broke down. He was even screaming and crying while on his wheel chair. I know my father when it comes in dealing with his illness, for as long as he can take it he’ll just be quiet and tell us that everything is ok. We were all in panic. Just imagine how hard it was, seeing your father in pain and can’t do anything to lessen it. God, I couldn’t bear seeing him like that. Me and mom immediately brought him to DWU hospital and called up my eldest sister so we could meet her there. He was laid down in the hospital bed in the emergency room..complaining and begging to the doctors to give him relief. And worst they couldn’t do anything. I was looking at him afar silently praying to the Lord to please give him comfort. And after few minutes (I thought) my prayers were granted, I saw my dad peacefully sleeping. Its then I decided to go home and get some good night rest because I have an 8am class the next day.

Aug. 28, 2009

5:30am I got a text message from mom telling me and my youngest brother to come over to the hospital as soon as we can and to cancel our school schedules. i was wondering and deepthinking why mom will text something like but I still remain positive to whatever we’ve going through. I took a bath for a minute (yeah believe me ;p) and be there as soon as we can. I went numb and I shook during the entire drive to DWU Hospital. I remember praying that papa just want to see us and mom just want to go home and we’ll take charge in taking care of dad. My mind was so frantic. Dad wont die. You have too much to live for! What about the Singapore vacation that ate baby promised you as soon as you got well. What about Ram and Issa that you love to play with? What about your dreams for me?.. Pa, you’re not going anywhere. I love you too much to loose you. Keep fighting, hold on please. My hands were cold. As we reached DWU Hospital, I went up to room 329 as fast as I could no lifts available since it was still early in the morning. I opened the door and it was the worst moment in my life when I heard mom “ say goodbye to your papa, he’s gone”. The room spun . I felt detached from my body, as if the pain of this startling reality was too much to bear. I wanted to die too, to be with you, to make sure you were ok. I was hysterical. I sat on the floor, I cried and I was shivering and embracing myself. I couldn’t even take a look on you lying in bed with no life. God, how could we go on with our life? I felt that your soul was close. I want to shake your shoulders and have you open your eyes. Instead, I gave you a kiss and rested my face against yours, willing to do anything to bring you back. The only thing, I could do was to let you go.

According to the doctors the cause of his death: Septic shock Acute Peritonitis Ruptured Appendicitis, chronic Kidney Disease 2 to diabetic nephropathy, Diabetes Mellitus 2 Hypertensive Cardiovascular Disease, Community Acquired Pneumonia

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

My dad was my mentor. The thought of him passing was something that I envisioned when he'll be in 90 or 100, not 54 And not this way. This brought my life down to the very bottom. Since then, I have been feeling on-off spells of depression; it is more at home than in my social life. It does not make me feel unwell or affect my appetite. It is just that for spells I feel so alone and depressed and it feels awful.I still think about my dad every day and it kills me. It was so tough.. I cried a lot every night. I think everything just finally caught up. I knew it would and that’s fine. If I keep it bottled up, it’ll be worse. Even writing this makes me well up. But it helps, helps me to express some feelings that I can’t often verbalize. Not sure why but I find writing a better outlet sometimes. Along those lines, I have to thank my friends and all the people (you know who you are) whose outpouring of support and love has been a big help. THANK YOUI’ve been trying to keep myself busy. I devote myself to my school and give all my love and support to my mom and spend some time to my nephw and neice, baby ram and issa. It was really nice and relaxing and I didn’t have to think too much, which in itself was good. I can’t say that the pain is any less. If anything, it’s actually worse because I know I’ll never hear my dad say “men, when are you going to be the Miss Philipines? again. I can still hear him say that in my head though. and still take it as a joke..Clearly. I’m clinging to that big time right now. His tone was always so reassuring to me & I don’t want to give it up. I have to be realistic (which totally sucks) in that I’ll be in pain for quite some time. I have to be strong though. My dad would’ve wanted me to.

I love you and miss you so much papa.

here we are again T-T

2009-04-26T22:37:00.003+08:00

we had a fight "once again" T-T i dont know..hais after we had settle our bad fight few days ago..heres another new one..haysss.... and everytime we were able to settle things, i cant help not to blame myself and to feel really bad about what happened. its just little issue turned into a worst one..as always.. and im that mean that i made reasons why it worsen. hais im realy blaming myself for that. it all started last night on one of our YM conversation. i admit im too sensitive and emotional at this moment because there are alot of negative things that is happening on our life now. dad is seriously ill. and were dead worried. it is hard for me to say this, but we are scared that maybe the end is getting nearer..God help us pls.. mybe its one of the reasons why im being too sensitive and that i take jokes seriously. and i analyze it negatively.im not really in the mood at that time. and i know from the start that he's the type of person who always tells jokes. i shouldve be that considerate and openminded.. he caught me in a wrong time that i meant his jokes negatively and it did create a flame and i made it a fire that it grew bigger and bigger..and its all my fault.. im sorry..i really am..i may not be able to tell this to you in person..how stupid of me of making such a decision that i wont ever see you again..damn me..really..

i want you to know that i am so touch about what you and your cousins did for me..

:( its one of the moments that i really feel bad about myself.. ive been begging you to stop begging on me..because it breaks my heart everytime i refuse or reject you. thats why i told you not to talked to me yet and give me some time because i dont want to say something that would hurt you, because u perfectly know me, i intend to say something really aweful when im mad..

and now after you insist, you asked me out earlier for a night swimming and a dinner with your cousins "as your peace offering" and you know that i couldnt say no to the kids ..:(

and i had a great time and you know that i always enjoy the company..you know how much i love your family.. its just that, im overthinking..what kind of person i am that you still have to do great efforts so that i'll forgive you :( why not a simple sorry isn't enough? see? damn me :( but then, i just want you to know that you dont have to do this..you dont have to please me really hard.. :( i just want you to give me enough time to think if things like this happen again.. you know me..i am weird sometimes..im stubborn..somehow, i then realize naman that i am wrong, and i ask sorry by myself diba? T-T so please, ..:( i shoud be the one who made the first move to clear things up but u didnt let me :( u did it..and i really feel guilty..:( pls dont get me wrong na nman..we dont have problems anymore..its all settled..this is just between me,myself and i :(

bad days after good days

2009-04-22T08:18:00.002+08:00

why can't i have just one single day and everything will turn out right. i had a very bad telephone conversation with galvin earlier, around 7am. yeah, a worst one. for the past seven months of going out together again. i can say that this is the worst fight we had. i yelled and nagged on him on the phone and he did it too just because of a simple and no sense reason. its the first day of my period now and i admit that i got easily annoyed and my mood swings ever now and then.and then again, i intend to say harsh words which i did not mean at most. and most ofthe time, i regret after i realized that i was wrong and that i talked too much i really dont know how will i convince myself,, to admit that it was my fault and i owe himan apology. :( he called me up late this afternoon asking for forgiveness about what happened this morning and i hated him for doing it. i feel like he is making me realized that im a very bad person that i couldnt afford to apologize eventhough i have to. that he must do it first because he expects that i am not that kind to do it. grrr even me, i cant understand why i am acting so weird. he wants just to settle things..thats it! why cant i just simply understand it? the problem with me is that i always overanalyze and justify things on my way. i am so close-minded and unreasonable sometimes T-T yeah thats my problem..and because of that, i failed to appreciate the good things that he did for me.. i never even bother to say thank you when the time that he took care of me when i got sick. i forgot to appreciate little things he did yet very meaningful such as massaging my hands and even my feet on my tired and stressful days..damn me..im so mean. and now what? after all im acting all weird, im hotheaded. im annoyed. im irritated without giving him the reasons why., T-T

about a friend..

2009-04-17T08:25:00.003+08:00

my emotion is mixed up about this very dear friend of mine.. (guess i need not to mention her name).. a few months ago we were all shocked upon knowing her situation.. she was 12-weeks pregnant at that time..we dont know what to say at first..we were all speechless..plus the fact that the "news" we heard about her came not from her(but from the guy or should i say the father of her child)..and when we asked her about the "buts and ifs" because all of a sudden, she made some unwise decisions that me and my other friend badly and madly opposed it..but we cant do anything with it though. the least we could do is to support her morally.. we just feel so disappointed as well as we pitty her..we shared our dreams in our future career together and suddenly it will happen.. ;( i have nothing against the blessing that yet to come on their lives but it would have been better if it is on the right time..:( my friend is only 18 and the guy uhmm i dunno and with all honestly i dont really like him for her....errr..im sorry.. :( i mean, my friend is such a wonderful person and i guess she deserved someone alot a better T-T that will love her with respect..:( im so sorry if im being so harsh but i am just expressing what i really feel..the only consolation with this, in all fairness to the guy he'd been man enough to face his responsibilities to her (but of course, he should..i think he can never find someone as wonderful as her!!)..but still, i am so confused, y him? T-T but then, who am i to judge? :p

oh well, i wish all the best for you and my future goddaughter T-T i hope everything will turn out great and i know you can surpass all the trials..and then again, think twice, thrice, hundred times before marrying that guy..hehehe ^peace

i am just so proud of you my friend, that despite the hard situation you remain so strong and you decide to pursue on your baby even, uhmm lets just say its not yet the right time but you chose to stand on it.. i salute you with that . your fear and faith with the Lord remain strong that you never think of aborting the baby as a solution to the situation...and im proud of you with that.. :)

White Sand of Jasmin Resort, Marabut Samar

2009-04-12T10:06:00.003+08:00

Jasmin Beach Resort is approximately 52 kms. and about an hour drive from Tacloban City. It is very accessible..it has great place for a good rest, nice outlook on beach, white sand, very quite, great food at a good price.

it is my 4th time to visit Jasmin. they never fail to impress us everytime we visit the place. by 7am we were there already together with his cousins, stephanie,john2x, jerome and ramy.. the kids really enjoyed the rest of the day.. we rented floating cottage at the price of 500php.. and 10php entrance fee..we had our breakfast there and by 8am we were all ready to swim. snorkling is also a fun activity when u visit there..you can see different colors of fishes and colorful creatures living under the water..the floating cottage were push through a thick rope in the mid part of the sea which is about 15ft deep..we also played beach volleyball regardless the heat of the sun..;p we had pictures taken all over the beautiful sceneries..=) its as if a "virgin boracay" that any one who visits there will surely look forward to come back..=)

next stop: Caluwayan Palm Island and its infinity pool..=)

San Rafael's Farm

2009-04-12T09:47:00.003+08:00

just a short drive away from downtown area and you will experience a great food with a serene and peacful ambience. it has a vine-covered station garden . it is a cozy, romantic place away from the noise and pollution of the city..it always amaze us everytime we went there to dine and relax.. its invested by Rene Tampil who also owns Join Us fastfood and meatshop.. the quality of the food is more than enough to its rate. you can sit,relax while having a sumptous food and enjoy sighseeing the beautiful sceneries every where and there.. they also have tree house where you can eat and inhaled fresh air while overlooking the total scenery of the place.. =)

Busay Falls Resort, Babatngon

2009-04-12T08:56:00.005+08:00

it is a local tourist spot located at Brgy Distict III within the Poblacion of Babatngon, Leyte.. it is about an hour drive from Tacloban City proper.

One thing I learned about this getaway is the fact that Leyte is merely not all about San Juanico Bridge and McArthur Park. There are a lot of beautiful scenery in this province. Maybe not as gigantic as the above mentioned, but I could fairly say, they are equally beautiful as the famous landmarks. I love looking at a waterfalls. The sight and sound of splashing and cascading water is just so serene, so relaxing. It’s a nice place to have a cool refreshing shower with friends or simply a place where I could reflect about many things in life..As expected, while enjoying the scenic rice fields and farm animals of Babatngon during a 20 minute drive from the proper, we proceed to this site, where a small waterfalls is tucked away in one of the barrios. We paid 10php for the entrance and they charged 100php for the cottage near the falls..

i cant help myself not to swim and embraced the water when i saw and feel it. i was not expecting that it was still as beautiful as it was..as you can see on the photos above, i was not on a proper swimming-attire..oh i just so love the fresh and cold water!! =)

how do i breathe without you here by my side....

2009-04-03T00:49:00.005+08:00

Every time I hear this song, the beautiful, sad, happy and tearful memories are flashing back on my mind.. wohooooo!!! Its been like four years? I’ve been treasuring this guy on my heart. Yeah haha I never even remember any single moment that I did not think of him.uwaah seriously sweetie lol Omg, four years is such a long time! But its as if everything just happened yesterday.. for that long span of time, we learned so many things. We’ve been through so many things that made out a great impact for what we are now and the happiness we have now(with each other)..*smiles* its a teamwork I guess..two heads is definitely happier and better than one.. if you would recall on my previous posts here I was obviously bitter and hurt..(finally I admit it!)And its as if our emotion changes from time to time, nothing is permanent in the world only change and we all agree on that... I kept on believing that what happened to us for the past years , everything went so wrong and awful .. I always have justified that it was all his fault ..he made the reasons why things did not went right..it was his! My friends blame him..my friends hated him for what he did to me.. its because their sympathy is with me, of course they’re my friends and they only hear my side and never his. As I was reviewing my past blog entries and we started to talk about our past with a smile on our faces and not bitter anymore and we tried to balance things, I have realize what I’ve been when I was with him for the past 3 years.. I never asked myself what kind of girlfriend I’ve been. Its as if a wake up call on me.. because I have been believing on what I want to believe and no one can ever dictate me and tell me what to! I’ve been so bitter..i misjudged him perhaps because of my anger for all of the negative things he did..his negative things and I never did think of the positive ones nor appreciate it..i never even dare to ask myself, what kind of person I’ve been with him? Now it came on to me, can I blame him for all his foolish acts then, when at that time he had a possessive, stubborn, manipulating, controlling, selfish, sensitive, inconsiderate and close-minded girlfriend?? I always think I was always right..Yeah, It took me a long time to realized that! I figured out why he’d been a rebellious boyfriend.. hehehe I asked him jokingly last Sunday while we were having our dinner after we attended the mass, how I did it… he answered me laughing and obviously with a sad emotion on his eyes.. he said he hated me so for loving me despite that.. hehehe and after we decided to parted ways.. oh well I was just so thankful to his beautiful influence friends that they played cupid so I had a replacement immediately..lol he was thinking at that time that I was dating to this guy and he felt so insecure. That’s why he decided to try to pursue with some women (woman) thinking that he’ll get over me so fast..But it was some time in December or January I’m not sure (we broke up on October’07) that we talked and we were vey emotional he told me that despite everything we had been up to, he said it was still me..:( but it was too late because at that time I was almost committed to someone..he denied that he was too..i heard rumors here there and everywhere and when I asked him he told me the other way around..oh well. Its not important..:p there, at that time we had the right love at the wrong time to the point that we were hurting people involved with us.. :( we were both dating at that time but we used to talk on the phone like nothings changed..hehehe and how we made it again after months later hmmm and the rest is history haaiis.. now can we proved that “love is sweeter on the second time around? ‘coz time wasn’t ready for the first one” hmmm.. we’ll see! :p

Oh well If I will make this longer am sure this would bore you.. hehehe but its ok, this made “us” smile every time we looked back..
just a lil bit of idea what we had been through! Our beautiful, sweet, rocky and shakey story! lol

omg..watta-a-blooper!

2009-03-25T08:43:00.003+08:00

oh no! i couldnt believe what ive done yesterday T-T i really feel so embarassed everytime i remember it...grrrr i met lane, my good friend with her beau and his family.. we met along downtown area.. i was alone and i thought she was too.. so we hugged each and i said "wow, youre so dressed up where have you been?" we paused for ike 2 mins and have some lil updates too bad for me coz i didnt give her a chance to talk.. i talked too much i a admit that.. the worst part was, i btod her na.. so lane? whats up? whos the lucky guy now? she mentioned a name, i forgot lang whats the name again hihihih i told her,, oh really? kaw huh? wheres the guy you brought during chelle's party? what happened with you and him? he seems nice pa naman.. (note: i was talking on a loud tone ) she answered me, whispering "we broke up gurl and im with my new boo now and his family" ...... wtf, when i looked at the side its too late to realize what ive been talking about.. omg... grrr... i looked at the guy and his family.. awkwardly, i smiled and i told her oh mg.. i didnt know im so sorry...she smiled and winked and said its ok..=)

grrrrrrrr.... tanga tanga ko talaga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;p

Busy mode :(

2009-03-11T13:46:00.003+08:00

been really busy lately thats why as you can see its been like years since i last updated moi blog : ( other than that, we're having problem on our internet connection at home for almost a month now. im doing pretty well,, everythings fine.. i just need more prayers for my ill-father =( oh God help us please :(

i'll see yah later! this is just a quicky post so march update wouldnt be empty after all...

oh btw, i would like to share this nice shot of galvin during our road trip to Busay, Falls..=) heheh

sunday night 2-1-09

2009-02-03T06:19:00.004+08:00

last sunday, i attended the holy mass with ghalvn. he called me up at home early in the morning.. (we had a misunderstanding the night before thats why ;o) hehehe but i kept on tellin u naman my dear that i am not mad.. or nagtatampo.. its just that i feel bit frustrated because i wasnt able to follow my time plan and its as if i wasted my time doin nothing and thats it.. ive no one to be blame but myself alone and not you..never..=) ok? well anyways, he called me up and ask me out.. but i must i admit, that i was really sad at that day because there were alot of bad news that made me feel so freakin lonely..=( but it has nothing to do with yah..swear.. anyways, there ..we attended the holy mass around 5:00 in the afternoon.. and it ended around 6pm.. we bought pop corn.. (oh i love eating it while walkin :p) after a lil while, we decided to have dinner somewhere that has a good ambience.. we decided to eat bar b q at the seaside part of magsaysay blvd.. i was hesistant at first because what i have in mind is a bunch of "goons" drinking readhorse and smoking blah blah.. but when we were there,, it was the first time i apreciated the place.. twas cool, cold ambience, fresh air, and there were lesser people compared to some nights during weekdays and saturday night when u went there..i began appreciating the place.. hehehe

we were seated near the shore, but i have to switch first to my eyeglasses, cause my eyes sore wearing contacts and embracing the sea breeze.. because of my expertise, hehe i was able to get my contacts on my eyes even if its kinda dim there and w/o a mirror hehehe anyways, after the man in red got our order,, we begun talking about things that bothers me and him.. we were both teary eyed because sometimes if u feel really bad and u thought that the whole world is crashing onto to u all u think of is to cry,, we shared different dramas,"emo" moments and sentiments in our life.. T-T and thanks to each other that we have someone who'll listens and give advices... atleast, we ended the day with smiles on our faces..

once again, i thank you for always bein there for me and for tapping my shoulder and told me everythings just gonna be ok,, thank u.. =) what we have now is something that is worthy to be treasure and its unbreakable.. called "Friendship".. xoxo

ps: the pic was takin when he was confined in the hospital three weeks ago..huhuhu but thank God that there was nothing to worry about and very far from danger..=)

cliche ';p

2009-01-31T17:19:00.003+08:00

Society made us feel we belong, but sometimes it also discriminates us because they try to project that we are never going to be happy unless we’ll have what they have. Like a car, a house, a six digit salary, a fulfilling career, and what I have been always asked lately, “a romantic relationship.” I do believe that these things can give us glee, but why should we be unhappy when we don’t have those things?
I just recently realized that I have a lot of things to be happy about. And what made me aware of these is because of a very simple practice. It’s all about “GRATITUDE!” Hah! How cliché is that! But it did work for me, I woke up one day and said thank you. I thought of things and just felt grateful and said thanks. It boosts my mood to a jolly state and just made my day… I never thought that a sincere THANK YOU could maneuver my day into sheer delight…
And I guess its just common sense. Should we choose to be miserable or happy? I hope you choose the latter, coz what good will it bring you if you chose otherwise di ba? Unless you are happy being miserable… then again that’s a different story…

p.s: i just thot wearing contacts in pictures look nicer..hehhe oh well,, am inlove with my eyeglasses though and theres no way ill choose otherwise than it hehehe mwah

January 29, 2009 hapy birthday je!

2009-01-31T09:33:00.002+08:00

one of my precious friend... happy birthday inday! i wish you all the best,, u know naman na im always here for u kun na brokenhearted ka.. eventhough,, i dont drink am willing na tumagay para ha im.. heheh joke wish u all the bestest again and more uyabs and no more heartbroken to come! mwahugs i love you friend! mwahugs

January 25, 2009 Happy Birthday Carlo

2009-01-31T09:26:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday caloi.. thank you for always trying your best to meet all my favors to u hehehe since high school ud always been my big angel..=) hehehe with all your big brain, i know you'll be the next brilliant CPA someday! mwahugs miss u alot.. luvyah!

January 17, 2009 Happy birthday Angeli!!

2009-01-31T09:18:00.004+08:00

hi anj,, thank you for making us feel that we are still your special friends until now..=) we may be busy most of the time but if u need us,, u know naman na we are just a text a way..=) happy birthday and i wish you all the graces from GOD and good health! i love you girl! mwahugs

ps: the pic was taken during our her birthday celebration @ sunzibar =)

January 5, 2009 Happy Beerday Coconut Shell (bagul)

2009-01-31T09:09:00.003+08:00

waaaah... bagul calls me "nanay menggay" hehhe but now,, birthday mo na naman.. hehehehe im glad that uve found your one true love na.. =) this guy had been my crying shoulder, my clown, my face-slapper hehe...=) thank you for everything.. i know,, soon to be RN ka.. good luck! luvyah! mwahh

ps: sa lahat ng pic ni bagul, eto lang talga ang pinakamatino.. yeah,, matino na sa lagay na yan.. can u imagine how others look like? hehhe 'peace

January 5, 2009.. hAPPY BIRTHDAY KA! =)

2009-01-31T08:42:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday my dearest friend kaka!! no words can explain how much our friendship means to me.. just so you know, i will always be here for you through thick and thin.. likewise u to me.. and im so thankful.. i know youre my ONE TRUE FRIEND who always stay at my side and willing to break anyone's bone if somebody hurts me.. hehehe thank you for everything..=) our sched may not permit us to be together often but if u need me, ill find a way =) i love you girl! mwah

ps: the pic was taken last three years ago..=) heheeh as the thought on our heads go: WE CAN PLAY A BITCH, IF YOURE AN ASSHOLE =P

i feel so freakin bad ;(

2009-01-06T20:15:00.001+08:00

Oh I thought they say that dramas are made for movies and not for realities. But it seems like I want to be so dramatic now. and just type and cry and type and cry.. I’ve no one to talk to about this, and I think only few would visit this site..idc at all.. I don’t want to talk to mom about this because I cant bear to see tears in her eyes too L I don’t want to sound so mushy and call me an “emo” yeewwks.. and supposedly, hey! it’s a brand new year for me and I should have a good year starter. But I dunno, I don’t feel like looking forward on something to do that will make my life happier.. there’s nothing else but just a simple statement of my dad’s physician saying that he’ll be okay and there’s nothing to worry about.. and that he’ll live forever… hahais.. im so dead worried about his health condition, its been almost two years now that he is undergoing hemodialysis due to his chronic renal disease. We spent quite a large sum of money so things wont be that hard for him..and yet it seems that its all useless.. despite that, I can still see him in pain and suffering..oh God!! Help him pls.. it cripples my heart into tiny pieces..

I’ve been thinking deeply about it. But I cant convince myself still that dad isn’t as healthy as before. That his life 5 years ago and now had a big difference. That he could no longer walk w/o a crutch, he could no longer run, he could no longer fixed the bulb in my room when the bulb wont function, that he could no longer have the normal life of a 54 y/o strong man,.. this is really hard.. and I think I wont be able to survive and take this reality.. If only we could choose situations that will break our hearts, I would rather be cheated by my boyfriend, or the hell if he left me or kissed the prettiest woman in the world right infront of me… oh hell I would surely prefer that than whats breaking my heart now..

O god! pls assure me that my dad will just be okay.. he will be.. he will always be there for us, he’s not going anywhere.. I love you so much papa..=(

just some thoughts to ponder

2008-12-13T08:03:00.003+08:00

Have you ever heard of this rule? Well again, stumbled into another chapter of a book (that I’ll be recommending soon once I’m done with it…) and it gives me a laugh because I find it funny at the same time so painfully true…
It goes something like; when we were 18 we worry too much about what other people thinks of us, and so we do the dumbest things (or not do what we like) just to fit in and appear to be cool; and when we reach 40, we don’t give a damn what anybody will think of us; then we reach 60, where we find out and realize that nobody’s been thinking about us at all. tragic…
Funny isn’t it? I think I might have been in that kind of crap when I was younger and, ok ok, most of the time, frankly because I wanted to please my family, my friends and maintain a reputable status in society. We become very self-conscious, very restricting and watch ourselves all the time coz we don’t want the people around us to think otherwise and destroy the reputation that we’ve built.
(say it with me) its becoming so tiring already and sometimes we just want to scream and shout, dance the silly chicken dance, and laugh out loud and not to give a damn about what other people will think!! And just be who we really think we are, the way we should be…
But this might come as a surprise for you, people around us doesn’t really think of other people that much because they are also busy worrying about what other people will think about them…
Of course we pass on judgments, we build impressions toward people the way we see them.. and these people also build judgments and impressions towards us that we don’t like.. and we in turn pass again judgments and impressions towards people that we don’t like.. and people that we don’t like pass judgments and impressions towards us…. and if they are really thinking about you at all..they are wondering what you are thinking about them… Ya dah..ya dah..ya dah.. see its a freakin vicious cycle and we are all caught up in it…

Happy 7th Birthday Issa!

2008-12-07T20:41:00.003+08:00

issa turns 7! weee... issa...youre 7 now! it only shows that we re not gettin any younger huhuhuh but you will always be tita's baby girl.. =') and ram is tita's baby boy..", i love you both..

here are some pics @ mcdonalds.

November 28, 2008 Happy Birthday Ram!!

2008-12-07T20:02:00.010+08:00

its tita's most favorite nephew's 1st birthday..=') waaah see how time fast passed by?? it seemed only yesterday i used to carry him and sung a lullaby..=') and now,, he can almost walk", he grows u very fast and turn into a very handsome little boy.. and now,, its also the time that his parents will bring him at singapore and live there for good.. hayys.. tita wil surely miss you ram and ill make sure i can visit you there very soon..

haays i miss the feeling of after havin a very tired and stressful day, when you go home there'll be a cute baby that you'll hear his laughs and made you smile and everything seems to be just all right.. haays.. i miss you so much ram..=) here are some snapshots on your birthday at hotel alejandro:

baby ram guided by his dad's hand hehe..very cute =p

with ram's mommy and daddy kuya ramil and ate baby

the guests: tita len, tita carol, tita and tito ghalvin

with my tita and tito ghalvin

Happiness! ",

2008-11-17T20:03:00.001+08:00

That’s exactly how I feel right now, its so much different writing about it and trying to put into words when all you want to write about can be put into a simple emoticon like this J !!!
I am one who is always in pursuit of understanding LIFE, what makes us who we are, what makes us tick, what brings us joy, what created our personalities, where did our values come from, what’s the essence of Catholicism, Buddhism, Kabbala, Taoism, Humanism, and etcetera, etcetera… and the more basics of all things, “How do we sustain HAPPINESS?”
I think everyone is in pursuit of this state. I know it can be difficult at times but everything we do in life is all about feeling this way. I’ve tried to simplify my goals in life, and it all boils down to being HAPPY!
The mind boggling and surprising of all is that when I am in this state, everything that I want in life is happening in fast pace. All the things that I visualized and imagined that would happen to me perfectly did just that, It happened. =)

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!

2008-11-16T07:45:00.001+08:00

Great oddballs.
Time does fly fast. But hoh noh, there is absolulely no room here for regrets, just high dosages of happy pills.
Ika nga ni Banana, "You should be dancing, cartwheels all around. I guess that's what will I be doing tonight! DANCE and DRINK and CELEBRATE!
Happy Birthday GERMAINE TORRES ANQUILO!!! !!! Let's put our hopes up this year!!!!! And I promise to do better! Let's just go go go, love, love, love, live, live, live!!!!

oct 31, 2008 marabut trip again =')

2008-11-15T10:50:00.008+08:00

waaw..=p it seems that ghalvs really fell inlove with the place.. dami namang pang-gasoline tsk tsk.. hahaha our second trip there was unplanned..hehe accidentally,, we saw kaka and chino at the road... so we,, decided to hang-out and ghalvs got the idea to went in marabut.. we left tacloban at around 2pm na..=p good thing,, we can order good foods there..=p here are some of our pics..=p

facing sunset @ marabut (natural color unedited)

wid john2x and step

with my very good friend kaka

LOL.. funny pic of kaka and chino hehehe

with john2x

Oct 30, 2008 Happy Birthday BIBI Bro!

2008-11-15T10:43:00.002+08:00

weee... my used-to-be lil brother is now 16! =') he's growing fast and a MAN soon..! waaahh i coud never imagine u'll be having a gf very soon or i dunno if u had na.. naku naku make sure ur wicked ate men wont see you.. hahaha

happy happy birthday.. pls do gud on your studies.. please! study your lessons and dont be too dependent to mom..=p PLS. be a good boy always.. aryt.. love you,, muwah!

mulay kita ps,, it mapirdi asya it manhihipos,, hahaha =p

oct 26, 2008 HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAROL!

2008-11-15T10:34:00.002+08:00

thank you so much for being such a very wonderful friend..=) always stay pretty as u are..=) keep up the nail art ='p kaw nag-pauso! hahaha luvyah..=')

Oct 24, 2008 Roadtrip at marabut! =')

2008-11-15T10:13:00.007+08:00

Marabut, Samar Island is one of the most beautiful place ive ever been to. Particularly the floating cottage at Jasmin BeacH Resort.. =) everywhere you look around seems so perfect..=) its an-hour drive from the city..=) here are some of our pictures that i would like to share..=)
Good thing,, sir H is there to drive..hihihi sarap ba ng feeling maging passenger? hahaha sleeping DAW..=p

as if we're in koron palawan..hehe such a paradise place

dyesebel and bukanding! LOL

moi-ghalvs-lenai @ the floating cottage

swimming at a 20ft.deep sea!

Unwind after the Finals! roadtrip to catbalogan

2008-11-15T10:00:00.006+08:00

lee invited us during their town fiesta..=) we really enjoyed it there..=) its 2hrs and a half drive from tacloban city.. =) here are some of our pics..=)

while on the way inside the van..=) fun! fun! tawa tawa naman, magpinanlibak naman haha

weee.. iside koko's coffeshop..=) bonggita lee.. apir!

inside koko's coffeshop waming! very nice interior lee..keep it up!

we really enjoy it there lee! biggie biggie thanks for the very warm welcome.. sa uulitin! hihihihi...

October 20, 2008 First year BREAKsary! and Happy Birthday Rhing2x! hihih

2008-11-15T09:31:00.006+08:00

weeee... see how time fast passing by?? its been a year since we end it up LOL.. but thank God, that we end up as "good friends" now.. hihihihih just last month actually haha..=)

for now, we enjoy each others company..=) we usually hang-out together... like he'll text me out of the blue and we'll have coffee, pizza, bar b q together..=) and i must admit that we're better off as FRIENDS.. we laugh together and we merely argue..=') yeah merely,, but we still though hihih hahaha no-more drama talks all laugh laugh laugh!

u know that u'll be always special to me too =) u may have dated alot of gurls lately but im just so amaze hahahahaha u still want my company! bwahahahaha ='p THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the favors and im sorry for the shortcomings AGAIN hahaha

basta galvin,, i would like you to know that im also just a text away if u need a friend that will bang your head if ur doing crazy things again..u know that am always willing to do it haha as your mom said make him very proud of you =') and i wish you and me all the best in the world! hehehe i hope we'll be able to find the perfect happiness! haha admit it,, u never had after "uS" hahaha (well just now and thanks to ***** hehe)feeling ni germaine! hahaha u always know it naman na maski masumo na,, i can always find time to be with you specialy on ur bad days..=) and im thankful that despite of my flaws and differences u're pretensions that youre happy when youre wid me is stiil effective hahaha peace..baletss i joke=)

im just so excited,, we're graduating very soon! wwwwwweeeeeee!! =) congrats in advance! happy beerday! hahaha

we celebrated his birthday (just the two of us!) hahaha..=') well,, mmmm swerte mo kaya...hahaha jowk... we had dinner at shakeys.. and just talk about so many things and laugh..=) hehe i hope u enjoy moi company (as always) hahahaha i love u ghalvs (as a sister errrr big brother!) hehehe hugs..=)

HAPPY 22nd Birthday! LOL

October 15, 2008 - Happy 55th Birthday Mom!

2008-11-15T09:25:00.002+08:00

Thanks for being the greatest mom ever! i salute you for that..", i love you so much mom... =')
mom invited immediate family members to have dinner at home..=') we enjoyed the moment somehow.. we're missing alot of faces though ='(

im her no. 1 fan!

2008-10-07T17:13:00.004+08:00

Noelle Cassandra is really a wonderful person.. almost perfect indeed =') she got the good looks, infact a very beautiful one, an amazing talent..an angel-like voice and shes a magnificent harpist.. wow. two-thumbs up..im dying to watch one of her concerts... she's as if an angel sent by God that can touch all of us' hearts... try to listen to her very insipiring music from the heart..she s really an amazing person =')

i wanna meet her someday..=')

Random thoughts!

2008-10-05T09:09:00.004+08:00

there is this wonderful gurl i just talk with...In our talk we mentioned many things, among them was my i dea of fantasy world that i would love to exsist somewhere and how i would love to have a shred of hope spme magic and the needness to be more to life than just our mundane lives. She agreed. I know she thinks im the wierdest sometimes. Because I am, dont think like regular people do. I imagine more and notice things people tend not to care about which I find is a gift to me. I like my thinking and my ideas. I think I am a little bit more creative than what people give me credit for. I just dont like to show that side of me because it makes me feel like I revealed too much. People dont deserve to know how much goes on in my head. They would not understand me. To the world I fantasize I am a Business Major at Texas A&M with aspirations to travel everywhere. Hoping that to be my job, Ohh yeah and that im the roudy person that people like to hang-out with. Imagine them trying to know I write a blog. or that I have made paintings or that I like writing short stories or that I like taking photographs. Its not possible. That part of mine gets revealed to the few that dont judge me and love me with and open heart.

am not really sure how to start this off, mainly because I'm not sure if it's one of my flaws or if it is strength. I suppose its a little bit of both.I set my expectations at a reachable point, but I guess at times they can be a tad bit unrealistic. I just have faith in people, and I know that they are capable of being or of reaching my expectations of their behavior. This blog goes hand in hand with "Good people or Fool's gold" because I guess it's me thinking that people are so good they can meet all of my expectations, its not so much to say I don't think or give them room for error, I would be worried if they didn't fail. I guess it’s just that I set them up to Fail, and then I'm the one getting hurt.

unwinding! =')

2008-09-21T20:14:00.010+08:00

Whoo! Unwinding!!! This has been months of no-parties. I haven't had such an active social life since ...a long time… I had great time with richelle and galvin last night… we watched galvin’s basketball game first at capitol gym, AMA vs ACLC where galvin is one of the ama varsity player.. oh btw, congrats ama won..=) galvin texted me around 4:30 pm that he was on the gym already and asking me if me and chelle were coming.. I met up with richelle at around 4pm at dunkin donuts and when I got the text from galvin we decided to went there.. uhmmm I honestly not in to any sports so I must say that i didn’t have the interest to watch the game.. hehehe ..im not really a sports enthusiast.. we were inside the gym and watched for few minutes.. but later on, I told chelle that its gonna be better if we’ll gonna stay outside since I didn’t like the crowd, well what would I expect? Almost all boys are there.. especially where we were seated.. we waited til the game is through outside the gym.. after almost an hour, galvin texted us if where we are and unfortunately, he was complaining because his left leg was injured..=’p hmmmm no pain, no gain! Hehehehe we decided to have dinner at andoks.. =’) richelle has a curfew. She needs to be home by 8:30 that’s why we decided to stay on her place at around 8pm after we’d our dinner at andoks. We bought cocktail drinks at the nearest grocery.. (im not much familiar of the drinks they bought)… Anyway, we drove to chelle’s home around 830pm This is how to get a party going! After everyone at one table had finished it didn't matter what was said, it was all good. I did think of something witty to say… hahahah we stayed on their garden set…. They were mixing drinks and i actually no nothing about it heehe It could have gone the other way, and I can just as easily fluff it. I was giddy from my success of trying 2 shots of the cocktail drinks hahaha . But definitely NOT drunk…weeee! on my own opinion hahaha Its really a pain on my head..hahaha I sipped another 3 glasses of drinks all evening, water in between. And then we went to a great night.. it was funny because its as if a “SPEAK OUT” session.. it was now our time to speak out whats on our minds and it feels good sometimes of doing things without a planner’s guide.. and without anyone who will be observant on yah.. I was happy that I had this two people in me who allows me to do what I want..;) it feels really good of forgetting our busy life sometimes.. We were all soooo happy, , hahah we shared tears and laughters haha rain! Good ppurtee, good friends, we stayed late and worried nothing... Feels good to let them stew for a change. I have stayed awake so many nights of my life waiting to hear the comforting sound of one or another of my friends finally getting home…At nearly 5 in the morning galvin drove me home and I thank him for that..=)

2008-09-21T20:11:00.002+08:00

lost... and so i sit, sit with a loss of words, blurred view of which direction i should take, and so i guess i'll sit here at the fork in the road and wait, wait for answers, wait for a change, any change.......
am not a perfect person, but hey who is? I have made a lot of mistakes, but each one has shaped me into the person i am today.
I have been thinking too much of the outcome of my ordinary future and how Im trying to hurry to work and become a member of the real world more quickly than I need to. I have always thought that the sooner I started working the better that I wish I could skip all these years of college and the many hassles it brings with it. Then it hit me, i would be doing the same thing
am not really sure how to start this off, mainly because I'm not sure if it's one of my flaws or if it is strength. I suppose its a little bit of both.I set my expectations at a reachable point, but I guess at times they can be a tad bit unrealistic. I just have faith in people, and I know that they are capable of being or of reaching my expectations of their behavior. This blog goes hand in hand with "Good people or Fool's gold" because I guess it's me thinking that people are so good they can meet all of my expectations, its not so much to say I don't think or give them room for error, I would be worried if they didn't fail. I guess it’s just that I set them up to Fail, and then I'm the one getting hurt.

September 17, 2008

2008-09-18T06:09:00.002+08:00

its my sweet sister's Birthday..=') i wish her all the best.. i know she got most of it though...=') she got wonderful men in her life..=') i know we had a lot of misunderstanding before.. well,, i know at that time i was young and immature..^peace

haaayss, see how time flies? it seemed only yesterday we pactically hang-out together..sharing secrets about "guys", nomal things sister friends do... and now, you are a mom to a beautiful baby boy and a wife to a loving man.. i wish you all the best ate baby..for you and your family..=') thank you for everything.. we miss you so much.. see you soon! =')

Rommie and Chelsey

2008-09-17T06:59:00.007+08:00

Rommie and Chelsey.. the two couple are actually very dear to me... i wish you guys can still work things out..;)

i was surprised again! this best boy buddy of mine fetched me in school last night.. he texted me he said that he was depressed because his gf oh i mean now his ex-gf chelsey broke up with him last sunday..;( *sad* chelsey knew about everything what-he-had-been-doing.. and worst the two girls confronted each other daw..(i heard its in a nice way, he said the two girls talked)and bull's eye.. nagkabukohan! karma! LOL... jowk la pare... the moment chelsey knew everything, she ended the 4-year relationship.. i know how rommie loves chelsey.. but then this buddy of mine cant help himself flirting with sexy girls..LOL.. well the good thing is that, he was able to passed the nursing pre-board exam.. atleast the karma isnt that worst..he was still blessed after all..LOL..

i remember when he called me up at home one night and he was even bragging to me about his gurlaling who's undeniably a hot chick! (well,, no need to hear my BUTs LOL u know what it is LOL)

Rommie texted me by surprise.. he wanna meet up with me after my class, well im such a good friend that in some way, i still tolerate his foolishness..LOL..he's gonna make me his accomplice in winning chelsey back.. i always had this words for him.. ive been telling him often that "pare, your foolishness will always bring back to yah" but he'll only answered me back " tell that to your ex not to me" LOL.. and now wat hapened? but then im such a good friend that i still am willing to help you... he wants chelsey back and this time he;ll now be a one-woman man.. ", because he was really hurt..and his life is miserable now.. haays naku,,chelsey is now home..after having his 6-month practicum abroad..and she knew about what rommie had been doing while she was away.. he's asking me a favor to help him win chelsey back.. he regret evey single infidelity he done... and what i hate about his gurlaling (ms. sexy remember?) she's initiating trouble to the couple..backstabbing in other words haays.. i told him so, he met a wrong girl!! bad cheetah!!
i pitied you rom..;( i hope you can still work things out with chelsey..

P.S to chelsey: i wanna say sorry if i tolerated my friend's infidelity to you..;( im so sorry i hope you guys can still work things out.. rommie is such a flirt we all know that, but believe me he loves you so much.. and if you'll still give him another chance.. ill bet my 10 fingers if he'll be the same this time.. sorry gurl! ;(

sick again ;'(

2008-09-16T08:19:00.002+08:00

blame galvin..huhuhuhu jowk..",

we had lunch out yesterday.. we decided to eat at socsargen grill.. my choice he paid hahaha big time na gud.. hehehehe we ordered beef with mushroom and rice.. we discussed some important matters about "my queen".. good that they were able to fix things out..;)
but too bad,, my tummy badly hurts talaga after we ate.. ;( huhuu
xoxo

September 10, 2008 - Wednesday

2008-09-14T07:21:00.002+08:00

Margareth texted me if we can have lunch together.. both of us had only an hour for lunchbreak.. we agreed that we'll meet up at ocho's... weeeeee...,, ma-bubunkrupt na ako.. hehehehe i was late huhuhu i went there 12:20nn already.. Good thing that she ordered food na lang, thats why when i arrived there we eat nalang.. we had a good talk.. we always had naman.. she ask me more about "gray" ehehehe and at the back of my mind, i was lauging =) beacause if gray knew about that.. probably,, kikiligon.. hahhahahahah around 1pm i told her i need to meet up wit my friends because Angeli, my another good friend was confined in the hospital.. we planned to visit her at that day,, so ayun... she went back at petron where she worked and i waited for my friends,, carol and lenai..

i went back to school beacuse i still have a class up to 7pm.. around 5pm gareth texted me if we can have cofee,, i told her i was still in school.. she asked me if we can have dinner na lang daw.. i told her na i was reminded by mom that i need to be home asap because i was still sick and i need still a long rest.. gareth said that we can talked my place na lang..se fetched me i\at school 5min befiore 7.. because she said that she really need someone to talk to.. and its fine with me lang naman.. we had dinner at home and she open up with me her problems at their home, at work.. etc.. i gave her advice and after a little while she finally declared that she's fine already.. i told her to go straightly home beacuse her mom surely worries on her..

for like an hour after gareth and i talked at home "gray" texted me and insisting that he will come over my place.. i told him not to because aside from the fact tha t twas a long drive here.. twas late already and i was supposedly resting.. but he still insisted.. i thought he wouldnt come.. after, few minutes he texted me that he was outside already.. grrrrrr... at first, i was pissed that he still insisted but i saw the sadness and worries on his eyes about there present situation of margareth.. we talked about margareth and about his exes about jukie..we taklked for like 10pm - 1am.. to think i still have classes yesterday huhuhuhuhu finally nearly 1am he decided to went home... haaaaaaays..;')

September 8, 2008, Monday

2008-09-14T06:51:00.002+08:00

I went out with margareth, my newly found friend.. we had dinner at cafe teresa.. i texted "G.Ray" if he was coming.. unfortunatley,, he didnt show up,, we just meet up after i'd dinner with gareth,, we talked about some updates because it had been 10 months since the last time we saw each other...LOL. we just talked and as if nothing happened in the past.. we're good fiends now.. we then realized that we can be good friends too after all of what happened.. he was with his friends from AMA.. you know whats the funniest part?? they were singing "muling ibalik" hahahaha.. and that was so funny.. and impossible.. hehehe i had great time..=) atleast now, no more grudges na talaga.. we can tell jokes with each other again...hehehehehe

sick..sick..

2008-09-02T05:59:00.002+08:00

weeeeee! am so sick. dont have voice. haays. wanna get through with all the pressures and stress. as of now, I don't know what to do... I'm half-sad and in a way, im happy....

I can tell he's trying to get along, but I'm still miserable. And no matter what I do, I'm still going to be miserable for the forseeable future. I had decided I wouldnt leave him but i just did! ;(.. and that's partially because I'm afraid to actually go. I'm so afraid that whatever I do will make everyone get mad at me..I've been trying to work through our differences and get along, but I don't know if I can. I still feel the affection for him.. but on the other hand, I don't want put behind the beautiful memories we'd..he's one of the best person i have.. and i must admit im still in love wit him..

I keep talking to people about it, but it all comes down to me. This is a decision I will have to stand for... I've been putting it off, but that's not fair to anyone.And you know, at this point,

I don't think talking things over and made promises again would solve that many problems... we'd still have a lot of work to do, just to get back to a functional relationship. But I think the thing that might be the final straw is that I view things differently now....

There have just been so many things over the course of our relationship, and particularly in the past weeks that really makes me wonder. The largest part of me just wants out. I just want to start over. But I keep thinking of him.. And I don't know what's best for him... I

I really need to make up my mind... this being in limbo is driving me insane. I will literally have a psychotic break if I don't get things straightened out.

hayyz. confused!

2008-08-29T07:51:00.001+08:00

So, last night before i went to bed i received a text message from Jukie.. It said.."It's kiekie just want to say i'm sorry i've been too emotional lately.. im going to be a man and take care of you like i used to be before..i love you.. i wont pressure you. i wont be too manipulating.. please give me another chance...
Help! I honestly don't have any idea's on how to deal with this? Do i believe what he says, and risk putting myself in emotional harms way again, or do i simply tell him that it's too late? haaays. as much as i pray often, i dont wanna be emotionally attached to any one.. i wanna finished my bachelor's dgree first before i enter into a commitment again.. ;( and i hope he understand that..im not closing my doors though.. its just that.. alot of things that had happen already and it isnt just as simple as taping once and everythings the same.. maybe one day but not now please.. ;(

Random Recent Pictures! ;)

2008-08-29T07:44:00.006+08:00

Me and bibi bro! ;)

with dolce and gabana..;)

new-hairstyle! ;)

with marge..miss her! ;)

Updates..=

2008-08-29T07:01:00.012+08:00

This past weekend wasn’t anything too exciting but kinda had a little bit of everything – some drama, some crying, some sitting around, some dog chasing,some -partying, some baby sitting, etc. Almost like an episode of The Hills. Ha! I’ll only talk about the interesting parts of the weekend…which there wasn’t too much of..", but one thing for sure, the past days.. each day of august rather had been really busy days for me.. thatz why if u can observed this month was the most least number of post huhuuhuhu..;( anyways, i took new pictures of baby RAM. Hez so so cute..;)

Wow, I totally got off subject…I was writing about my weekend. Dang! However, not much more happened, so maybe I didn’t get totally off subject. Well, now that I got all that off my chest, I think that I’m gonna go to the rest room now.. I just feel the urge to run…run as fast & as hard as I can & then I wanna have a good cry. That might be nice…“We’re all just chalk lines on the concrete…” hahaha

the worst week ever!

2008-08-18T05:27:00.003+08:00

…So I had the WORST WEEK EVER!!!. OMG there is so much drama that it is tearing my mind to shred. Taking it out and biting and nitpicking at it until it spews blood and then ill stress over what a mess my life has been... Each day last week sucked..
At around 2am last Friday, I was about to get my case analysis in business ethics done in front of the p.c when suddenly I heard dad murmuring something I didn’t understand. At first, I just ignored it because I thought he was just having a dream.. and its normal to people who’s sometimes saying something while sleeping.. but after few seconds and still hearing it, that was the time I started to get panic.. I immediately ran to him.. (oh my…..wait..while writing this…its breaking my heart.. ;( huu haa huuu haa as much as possible I wanna forget that worst time of my life ever…) but anyway, ok. So I saw dad seating at the sofa, and he was awake.. and he still kept on moaning.. as if he’s crying..and that he wanted to say something that we couldn’t understand.. I cried so hard because I pitied him and I was scared maybe that was the end of everything. because I saw the pain and difficulties he was carrying.. I held his hand and face…begging him to be strong and not to leave us.. I woke up mom.. and we were in panic. the hospital was still like 10 min away from home.. and we’d no available transpo.. mom’s car outside was a complete wreck. and half of its body parts were at the auto repair shop..=( our nearby neighbors who had cars were all asleep although they tried to asked help but dogs’ bark were the only answers they got. My brother had to run a block a way from our house. And in God’s grace.. Sir Pat, who’s an officemate of dad hurriedly respond.. I was still holding dad’s hand asking him not to close his eyes… they carried papa to the car.. and in less than 10 minutes we were in the hospital.. While I was in the car, I was really crying while holding dad’s hand.. I was praying that everything will just be okay. And finally when we were in the hospital, I stepped out of the car and I ran to emergency room asking help to any of the people there and good thing, they were all alert and respond faster. Even the hospital’s guard.. they carried dad to the stretcher and when we were in the E.R, the nurses gave an oxygen to dad and injected something I didn’t have any idea what was it.. I was holding papa’s hand.. and silently praying.. it really did break my heart because I saw him crying and obviously in pain.. after almost an hour he fells asleep.. I seated one corner in the hospital.. I send text messages to my friends as well as to dad’s brothers and sisters to please help us pray that everything will be all right…;) after few minutes dad woke up.. and asked where we were.. I told him we were in the hospital.. he held his back pocket and asked where his wallet was as well as his watch…I just smiled and sum him up what just happened.. he said then that everything is okay now. and hes fine.. the doctor said that he’s blood sugar level lower a lot and good thing that he was immediately brought in the hospital because if not it might lead to comatose..;/ he was confined for 2 days and now, he’s okay.. I really thank God for that.. ;)

Last Saturday, our organization, the ABE Tacloban Junior Philippine Institute of Accountants or commonly known as ATJPIA had our GTKY ’08 or somewhat like an Acquaintance Party/ Orientation.. Maam Jen, who’s our school dean and happens to be the adviser of our organization was having an inspirational talk.. we were just inside room 5 of our school’s building… her inspirational message for all of us, the Future C.P.A as she named us, last for like more than two hours..i was seating in front.. and at the middle of her “speech” I yawn for few times..LOL. and on my third yawn, she reacts.. and she mentioned my name…and she was discussing about discipline,, LOL. And she was saying something I cant understand that much. I was blushing because of embarrassment .. how I wish ill vanish right there and then.. thinking the fact, that twas heard by other 2 respected CPA profs and the 30 survivor jpians…and I told her “I m so sorry for that maam. I was just so sleepy.. i didn’t mean anything..” she continued talking about “what-she-was-talkin-about” and I again I wanna yawn.. LOL. And I dunno how to make it without opening one’s mouth…LOL. I really tried hard not to.. and thanks to my hunky..i just pretended to pick up something and when I bended down that was my chance to have an all out yawn..lolz.

After the GTKY, Kuya david whos an alumnus invited us to watch movie in theater.. showing THE MUMMY..about four of us..because the others still need to attend the RCJPIA meeting..;) we enjoyed the movie..;) we went home around 9pm..=)

Last wednesday, Another issue to be resolved and maam jen’s “awarding ceremony” to all of us, the officers of the two organizations in school, the JPIA and the JBEC had a talk about merging for this upcoming sportsfeast..since the JPIA department was the most out numbered members among the other organizations.. when maam j knew it she immediately called a meeting to all of the officers of both org. telling us, that she was really disappointed, frustrated and alarmed to our infidelity of our organization. She told us that it seemed that we’re envy of other orgs.. that’s why we wanted to merge.. she even said that it isn’t an assurance that we’ll won even if we merged.. she asked my side about it and asked what made me decide to merged.. I told her that it wasn’t a formal or a serious agreement.. we were just joking about it and perhaps if anybody got the guts to formally proposed it to her, then I’ll be happy..its not about being envy with the other organizations that is why we decided to joint forces.. its just that the fact that “majority wins” even without competition practically, we lose already. The more the merrier..;) but if she wont permit us then fine..;) that was just a proposal/ suggestion..its no big deal. If its okay with her then good but if not then fine..;) I just hate the fact that the issue has kept on repeating and repeating by maam j..for few days, she always calls up a meeting and the agenda were just the same as well as her “words of wisdom” lol it’s a neverending “sermon” to all of us… when infact, twas actually not an issue in the first place! Haaays, but anyways, all is well..i guess.. hope it wont be open up again on Tuesday..,hahahaha

xoxo

i gained weight that much ba talaga? panic mode

2008-08-14T20:05:00.003+08:00

i felt bit panic everytime i look at myself in the mirror as well as in photographs...i noticed my cheeks got bigger!.. omg.

waaaaaaaaahh.. i've noticed that im gaining weight so fast nowadays...no wonder if i did.. ive been eating alot 'coz of the pressure in school and some other stuff.LOL =( and i hate that fact..hahaha my collegues notice it too.. i'm alarmed..guess i need to lose few lbs. and i dunno how to start it...no one motivates me to. hahaha so friends,, please pressure me! pressure me! lol.

foRbidden! =(

2008-08-13T04:58:00.003+08:00

oh no..nO..No..nO.. this can't be.. and i am not...and i should not in first place! urghhhhhh.. if only i could sum it all up here... but i just cant..and i hate how it feels.. i'll blog it someday! =p see yah around..=)

Updates!! =) GTKY'08

2008-08-12T06:41:00.012+08:00

i was actually so so busy the past days..=( after the GTKY '08 party we're back to reality again lolz but we did enjoy the party last 8-8-08. twas cool, a black and white inspired motif.. =) and by the way, yehey! i got flattered when i heard good feedbacks from our dean and the school director about the video presentation i made..twas somewat like a documentaries on the acquaintance party last year..after the long hours of making it..twas paid-off naman.. and good thing the sounds of the speaker in the venue were cool and twas shown on the projector... =) cool! we really enjoyed the party and we went to magzz (a bar bbq plaza near the shore)after with alan, lee and company..twas nearly 3am when they decided to go home =) good thing that we ( lenai and carol ) just decided to rent a room in a hotel near the venue... and because of that we werent that exhausted and haggard..lesser hassle too.. because everytime we felt so sticky& in need of comfort hahaha we can just run fast on our room and have it all there..hihihi

i'll enclosed some of our pixxy during our party..=)

i wore an off-shoulder abstract black&white above the knee dress with a black belt and match it up with a black 2-heeled sandals.. (p.s thanks to moi besfriends jackie)

wee! look at me.. mom said i gained weight..huhuhu

we also have our oathtaking as JPIA officers..=)

with another gorgeous friend, Joanna..=)

at magzz after the party..=)

pretty fellas lenai&carol

just woke up@ room 117 =p

FLaWeD! T-T

2008-08-06T05:49:00.002+08:00

So, how did I get closer to this 'word' and what it covers?

It takes a mistake to realize you are flawed... and that's how it happens to me. I became flawed not once,
either twice but quite a few times. When I became flawed, I realize I have no right to say anything...Just yesterday night, a small conversation turns into something that relates to my past.
A friend of mine was sort of infatuated with a man... that turns out he has a girlfriend.
But she did admit she likes him a lot... hence it isn't going anywhere between the two.
sHe ask an advice in the room what she should do. I say... forget about him. But someone else said should remain friends. I said it's hard to remain friends when your feelings can't do it... because Ive been there. I became an emotional mess that takes some time to be back on my feet... The other person said no, should remain friends and the argument continues until not sure how long and I realize something on my part that is at fault - I let my own personal opinion into it and fought hard in what I believe in... that I relate myself to my friend that she should follow what I do in my own principle that based on my experience should do. What a predicament that I realize now... this is a mistake. I realize I am flawed... I ended with such an embarrassment that I quickly leave. I am sure they think I am angry or mad. Well... usually they do think that way. I am not sure how it goes later so I didn't want to know either.Life can be so... such a mess when you make it that way... and when a certain past come into your life... that's when your mind is clouded... your decisions you make can be wrong... and you can't see things clearly...That is what happen to me... I am pretty strong headed at times... but it takes a small while to break down and then... just remind myself not to do it again but surely... I will again...Sigh... but being flawed... is what makes us human... I am human still... which is good... and I do need a slap sometimes... which I doubt anyone dare to do it to me... because I look too damn fierce... hahahahaOh well... passing on...xoxo

see yah later! =)

Mr.Flirty meets Ms. Sexy..",

2008-08-03T15:02:00.003+08:00

Waaaaah! I was really surprise when my best boy buddy called me up.. (hmmm I’ll keep him on the name Mr. F...(for short of Mr. Flirt hahaha he really is..and he admits it naman)I just think I need to do it since I’ll gonna tell you something w/c is very disgusting? Daring? Whatever you’ll call it! Hahaha im just actually protecting names not much on my buddy’s name but to his gurlaling.. (in short for his girl fling).. Mr. F is really a dear person to me.. I can absolutely say that. he keeps the real definition of friendship and he’s one of the few who stays for me when I need someone.. He’s my treasured friend and we shared lots of tears&laughter together. That’s why we trust each other soo much. I actually ask him first before I could sum it up all here.. and he said its ok but I should make sure I wont give any hint of whom I was writing about..”, owkkay!
So I’ll start writing about the highlight of my post…here.. hmmmm.. Mr. F called me up at around 10:30 pm last night. My mom knocked on my room to inform me that I’d a phone call. I was a bit surprise when he called me up at that time and at first, I got worried as well because maybe there’s something wrong.. but later on, I was really annoyed because he knew in the first place during that t time I’m in bed already and to just tell me that he was just bored and he wanted my approval if he will still continue flirting with this gurlaling..the fact that he has actually a girlfriend who’s now having her practicum out of the country…the nerve! How dare him for asking me that.. but anyway,, im such a good friend! Hahaha at later part of our conversation, I was beginning to get curious.. so I asked him more about the new gurlaling.. he said they’re both studying at the same school and he likes the girl and he said that he has a strong feeling that the girl likes him even more .. I was really laughing… he said he likes the girl so much because she is the total opposite of me… and again I laugh out so loud. I joked, she must be a monster… LOL. He said they were dating…without his real girlfriend knowing…I get really curious with the girl.. so this buddy of mine trusted me soo much that he gave me his friendster account password and asked me to open it…and look for his gurlaling’s proffy.. waaahh.. she looks okay.. a typical gurl…ohh I mean a typical party peep that my buddy will surely adored…fantasize…LOL upon browsing the pics I understand now why he said that she’s totally an opposite of me..hehehhe I was just a bit surprised when I opened the 8th page of her photo album.. MAMA MIA…is this the new version of maria clara? Or should I say its now marie Claire? Hahaha She was soo daring..liberated and uhmm bold! Hahaha I couldn’t imagine myself posing like on the cam and to think that..its for public view.. oh my! The pics are so revealing and very erotic LOL. It has no class honestly..and I am really sorry for saying it..sana naman, she should still keep her finesse even she had sexy pictures…haayyys,, thats on my own opinion while I was furious of seeing all her pics my buddy was just laughing out loud on the other line... after that, our conversation went bit serious he told me that he was not that serious with that kind of girl naman daw.. he was just having fun so his life will not be as boring as mine.. hahahaha …after lil while, nangaasar nanaman siya and he loves to do that..grrr.. he said this and that.. I love manipulating my guy “daw”..im too serious and formal “daw” .. too sensitive&moody…I love debating&arguments “daw”…so prim…boring.. all negative na nakakapagpababa ng self-esteem..hahaha but I know he was just trying to pissed me off but he’s not that good enough he made me laugh instead and because I know that he didn’t actually mean it negatively, somehow those were half-true…in a way , I know he just mentioned the negative side.LOL. and he ignored my positive side.LOL

Anyway,, My dear friend its time for yah to change and start looking for someone like me..hahahaha before our conversation end up he said, “ .. so you wont feel that bad, and you know that I am a good friend somehow..even I’ll tell a lie just to make you smile..i will do it..LOL. hmm.. the real reason why you’re far from my ideal girlfriend, its because I know, it will take forever to move on if we broke up! LOL…o ayan? Flattered na si germaine..” LOL..

see yah.. xoxo

Happy Birthday Ate! luvyah

2008-07-31T16:54:00.004+08:00

Yesterday it was my eldest sister's birthday..

i'll detailed next time.. busy..busy..busy... see yah....

You're so annoying!

2008-07-29T07:13:00.002+08:00

Do you really think you have this Dropdead Gorgeous Physique? Gracius! you should look at some other mirror maybe your mirror at home is a cheater too like you hahhaha i know you're an attention-seeker! you always tend to use Romantic Speeches to most of the girls.. haaayss.. Grow-Up! Life isnt about the number of lips you've kissed but its finding the right person and to have a happy life together..to find true LOVE.. i hope you know that..i hope you can now realize that.. quit playing around... stop breaking girls' heart...stop the infidelity..because i know,, someday,, one day your foolishness will bring back to you.. Life is fair..Life rotates in circle.. Wake-Up! Grow-Up! believe me..;) i do not have to mention your name because you know who you are! :)

Happy Birthday Jim!

2008-07-28T00:01:00.004+08:00

weee..before i forget today is Jim's Birthday..my accounting buddy heheh i'm his Worksheet Comparer-Borrower haha.. i remember last year twas a house-party.. unfortunately, his birthday today falls on sunday..hahahah excuse..kasi family day..hahaha uhmm happy happy birthday jim.. ", while browsing my file i found out a cute pic of ours..hehehe I wish you all the best and i pray that we'll be future CPAs someday..who knows.. LOL.

urrggghh..FeELeR ='p

2008-07-27T23:49:00.003+08:00

I just can’t sleep. Grrr… ive been trying to since uhmm.9 o’clock?? Silent night like this I cant help myself not to think deeply.. hahaha here I go again! Thinking so many things w/c I guess isn’t that important… hahaha
He’s such a FEELER. That word and the particular person I am pertaining to has been on my mind for like 2 hours now.. as much as I don’t wanna think stuffs like that I just cant. Good Lord forgive me! its just that hmm I think he really is hahahha *sorry I know somehow you’re a good person dear.. sometimes, you just need to watch out and careful with your actions as well as your words so people wont have that impression to you. like i'd in you... All right.
Anyways last night I had an almost-very-bad YM conversation with Mr.X.. I was really crying because I was very pissed about what he said..maybe I over analyzed and misinterpret what he said but whatever it was, he really pissed me off. I actually had a tiring..very tiring day yesterday.. ive been working infront of the monitor for like 8am to 8pm.. and to encounter a conversation like that, my strength had been sucked that I ddnt have the chance to tell him what really was and to speak out. And all I did was to cry. I want to explain and yet I couldn’t make it..just imagine that feeling?? I just cant.. but then I was aware that I said something and mybe just maybe he got offended. I just hope he’d understand me. I was so tired and pissed so if you were in that you don’t usually think before you talk…err.. type..
Weeeee! I realize whoever can probably read this will get bored.. hahaha now.. I yawn..and again a well-deserve all out yawn,, haaaaay. Guess am ready to sleep.. gudnyt. *hugs*

LOVE??? whateveR

2008-07-26T13:19:00.004+08:00

Ok, I have to be honest. Who the hell knows what love is anyway? I'm pretty sure that it comes in all forms and varies from person to person.I have had problems dealing as well as observing men.. Well, maybe not so much as men as boys. That sounds more accurate - or at least accurate to the point of making me feel better about my poor decisions.

I have a hard time committing emotionally - but I just feel that no one will understand me. The people that know me the best know that I'm actually a deep thinker...difficult to believe but it's true. So here it goes.I have a habit of taking quotes on love and applying them to my life - even in the smallest detail - anything to connect me with the person who said it. Partly because I'm reaching out for someone who feels even remotely as shitty as I do

."There's more to life than love, but I think love is what gets us through the day." - Drew Barrymore"

A wise woman kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." - Marilyn Monroe :) (

)I just feel that there are way too many interpretations of love. And what's more important? Physical Chemistry or Emotional Security? I haven't found either - although I always think that with the men, excuse me, BOYs that I choose, I can find it in them eventually. It never works out that way. And I always end up changing for him and molding into the girlfriend that would fit well in lifestyle. It never works. Know why? Because I absolutely cannot help being myself. And every girl wants to be the one who makes a difference in their life and changes them for the better. The problem is - with so much competition, how can a girl possibly keep up. We all want THE look, THE hair, THE personality, THE style, and THE one. But we can't all have that can we? I don't want to be Barbie. But I do want a love like Corey and Tapanga and romance like The Notebook. I believe in those things. I probably shouldn't, but if I didn't then I would have absolutely nothing to look forward to. It's stupid, but the vision of eventually finding love keeps me going from day to day. And even if I never find it - I'll always know one thing: I've never been opposed to it. And love and faith will hopefully make be a better person every day. Because not only do I believe in love, but I have faith in people.Maybe. Just maybe. One day someone will show me that my spent time and energy was not wasted. A girl can dream, right?

it maybe too early to tell but i guess.. he's around..:) everything is falling into places these days.. and i am so happy..:) this was taken yesterday wid mr. law student..hihi

MiXeD Up! ='p

2008-07-21T21:09:00.007+08:00

I lucked out and got today off,...(awwwe uhmm well not really, i'd good exam results on some of my subjects for today yeeehhhey! =) and i guess that something worthy to be grateful of) anyhoo,, so I figured I'd make a cup of really bad tea (I'm missing the tea-making gene, apparently) and curl up in blogger to see what everybody's been up to.I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that if a person writes with great emotion, the reader will actually FEEL what's being said. It's more than just words on a page...er....screen. Having said that, so far this morning, I've been moved to tears, laughed my ass off (not literally, of course), been mad as hell, rolled my eyes (more than once), furrowed my brow, fallen in love, experienced profound loss, launched a completely unprovoked attack on my keyboard, and done a fair bit of sighing and smiling and lauging.LOL I've even swung from huge pouting lower lips and poked lions in their cages! What a ride!!There are soooo many amazing stories going on here in blogger and uhmm FAN-tastic profy in friendster.LOL Some are just cheery little word-farts sprinkled here and there amongst the clashing Titans and angst-ridden melodramas. Some are reguritations of interesting facts and figures; many are exorcisms of sorts - get thee behind me! Demons begone!! There are even some blow by blow (you should pardon the expression) descriptions of events so intimate that I feel like a nosy neighbor. I love it all! I love the freedom to express anything and everything.and to explore in friendster anywhere haha Warts and all! It's all about contact. And feedback. That's the beauty of this place. We can say whatever we want or need to, without fear of being judged. Ahem...I said "without fear of being judged!" Oh, you heard me the first time? Good!So write on, bloggers!! I am enjoying this wild ride immensely!I'm off to pick the bugs out of my teeth and buy another ticket! LO

So btw today, I went on a rather long walk, a couple of hours worth of one and I throughly enjoyed it, its been a long time since I got into the swing of walking and I'm glad I have, I feel better, its something to do, and I know its going to contribute to weight loss... bwahahhaha I'll probably do the same walk tomorrow .... its past nine in evening.. i need to go to bed.. awwe i mean im in bed already, what im trying to say is that.. i need to sleep so i could relax my body and mind.. Gudnyt! *hugs*

check me out on my latest pixxyy.. (i gained weight wahh)----->

hmmmff.

2008-07-21T10:51:00.004+08:00

i don't like starting something on a negative note, but I figured its my blog for my thoughts, and at the moment, I've got some pretty pissing off thoughts going on... It just takes so much energy to type them all out so maybe i can just state a bit..
grrrr... im so pissed! uhmm ehh wait ako ba dapat talaga ma-pissed?? hahaha this is what just happened few minutes ago.. i was supposed to take my exam in Financial Mgt.2 at 9am today.. i approached maam jackie, our instructor on that subject. she gave me the test paper and instructed me to buy a blue book in the office and went to the faculty room to finally have my exam there..after doing such.. i started answering.. i spent for like half an hour. .that was the time when i was answering all the questions and solving the problems by "heart" haha but then maam jen, our school dean saw me .and told me to stopped answering because i wasnt supposed to take the same questionnaires that my classmates have took,,! she asked the test paper back and she said there should be some revisions on the questions before i can take it.. duh??!! but i understand her anyway postponed na naman...it means i gonna wait for few days before i can finaally take it grrr... it really bothers me alot.. hahhaha i wanna get through wid the exam na!!!! grrrr..
uwaaaahh i heard the bell ringing! time for my next class.. i'll see yah later.. xoxo

just some thoughts to ponder

2008-07-20T06:15:00.005+08:00

Finally! most of my exam is over! but i still have one more to take...Financial Mgt.2..i wasnt able to to take on the scheduled time for some emergency reason that i need to attend to..anyways but thats okay.. atleast i need not to wake up too early in the morning to study..=) thats my study habit i prefer to wake up early than to sleep late..... i'd less than 3 hours of sleep since monday night.. which im not used to.. i always make sure that i'd atleast 8 hours of sleep.. finally last nyt i slept from 9pm and i juz woke up now.. its 6:21am on my pc's time.. and it feels really great of not worrying, feeling the tensions, the stress.. and all.. im planning to avail my study-leave in school for 1 week.. i need to monitor my upcoming stageplay..i need to be hands-on this time coz the final presentation will be 10 days from now.. and i want it to be perfect..(.. atleast on my very own perception of it).. we need to impress the guests.. i dunno if it is confirmed, i heard from seniors that Madame Imelda Marcos, the former first lady and the wife of late president Mr. Ferdinand Marcos, is coming.. well anyway, whether shez coming or not we need to have the same outcome.. =) atleast the pressure and tension is minimized cause i trust alot on my team.. they're all good..=) and i really am so excited for the big day to come..=)

oh btw.. i went to a salon and spa yesterday... i wont be particular with its name na lang... i was so disappointed for they werent able to meet my expectations on the services i rendered to them.. grrrr twas my first time to be there.. the place was nice and cozy so i decided to just have my facial and foot spa there.. wee i really need it.. i need to pamper myself, just this time after long days of stress.. just wanna relax..when i first enter there i noticed that the crew were not so friendly and smiling.. but unfortunately, i still pursue to give it a try, i like the color combination of there place anyway haha other than that i really wanna relax... ", the girl who handled me was nice.. she was sharing me some beauty tips.. i was just a bit shocked when she said " alam mo dai, ung pagtagal ng whiteheads and blackheads sa nose masakit yun.. sure ka kaya mo? "" waaaahh as if twas my first time.. i told her on a very nice way " ate thats why im here for that" she did not answer.. i guess she was just tired of doing it...she continued massaging my face... she was talking about different products "daw" that i need to buy... in the back of my mind i was thinking, that was some sort of her marketing strategies hehehhe she might be getting percentage of the sales if ever i'll purchased the product she was endorsing.. after less than hour, i was schocked again when she said,, "ok dai tapos na, hindi dapat todohin kasi makinis naman mukha mo".... waaaaaah i was like yun lang? i am paying enough and yet i havent felt the satisfaction.. grrrr then she was saying compliments pa.. haayysss i hate the feeling, its as if i just wasted my moolah.. i swear i wont be going back to that salon and spa ever again.. grrrrrrrr

weeeee everyday i feel the strain of the world around. all the pressure people place upon one another. i feel it from my parents, from my friends, and from complete strangers who dont know me. everyday i feel the expectations that were placed before me weighing down on me as i fail to reach them....

haaaaaaaaaays.. gotta eat my breakfast na.. xoxo

Mr. Law Student--- stay away from me! =(

2008-07-14T04:02:00.006+08:00

tired, but not necessary in need of sleep. am so tired of this kind of life... Being so busy and so stressed out it hurts and if you have been following my planner/organizer notebook you would also know that my sleeping sucks.. seems like in the last couple of months so much has been dished onto my platter, the pile continues to grow. the more it grows the less hungry i am, and soon the food goes bad. im tired, weak, heavy heart, racing thoughts, in need of peace. To lie down just gives more time for the thoughts to race, to stay busy, brings more weakness, to care...not enough energy for that. lost... and so i sit, sit with a loss of words, blurred view of which direction i should take, and so i guess i'll sit here at the fork in the road and wait, wait for answers, wait for a change, any change.

dontcha love to be lazy? wish there were a day that you didn't have to worry about anything? i really think that worrying takes a lot out of a person.... it's a lot of work to worry and if you take a lazy day, it really isn't lazy if your mind is going at full force since you're not doing anything else..... maybe it's better to have stuff to do so that your mind is worrying and running in over time..... just some thoughts to ponder..... :)

oh my! i really hate myself!! i went to church with him yesterday! =( oh man! i hate the fact that i didnt have the courage to refuse when he asked me out .. and i hate him for that..=(do really i??) he had this attitude that he does not care what other people might say as long we're both happy if they saw us together..in which i am not like.. what other people might say really matters to me...=( oh no! how will i handle this? him? and my feelings which about to go to something very dangerous and that is ---falling inlove! =( he kept on telling me that i need to worry for nothing and that things will just flow right..=( i dunno. i really dunno.. got tons of works to do such as studyin my lessons,make reviewers, my case analysis,organizing and directing my team.. exam is upcoming and so is the play.. i need to be very productive every single minute .. but how will i do that? he's always on my mind! =(

back to being just friends.. finally! ;)

2008-07-13T10:21:00.006+08:00

"Sometimes there is a reason your past didn't make it to your future."...

one must let go of hurt in order to accept goodness and possibility..

Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know that after all you'll ended up okay and back to being good friends..=)

I really couldnt still believe that after a couple of months or so, we talked..=) and it feels really good to finally clearing up the left behind issues.. it is really right to talk things over if things arent goin right.. we both feeling the same way..--anger, heartaches, and bitterness towards each other..at first our phone conversation went really harsh..we yelled..were almost telling hurtful words with each other but then things simmer down after few minutes of blaming one another..and i came to think that it is so sad to know that there are still people around who's provoking us to hate each other... and the saddest part is, whoever they are.. they succeeded.. well,, that was past and needed to be put behind and face the bright today...
He was once my life... as he said we used to be each other's EVERYTHING.. and that something i can smile when i remember those times.. and i am also so so happy to know that i can now smile and (*whispers*) not cry ..hahah i used to reminisce all those with tears in my eyes.. hahaha but not now..not anymore..Thanks goodness! =)
anyway, finally i can definitely say with all my heart that i am grateful that what we have by now is on the way to a real friendship.. at some way or another, i couldnt feel anymore the grudge and anger..and perhaps the love.. i have for him for quite long and what i have now is the sincere friendship.. he'll always be a part of me and the good memories we'd will always be kept in my heart but things today is lot lot different from yesterday.. i wish him all the happiness in the world and i pray he will find his EVERYTHING again and this time im hoping that it will really work up to the nth time..i know she'll come..=)
this is the most awaited moment Jukie wants to happen.. =) because he said when i feel this, this is now he surely can tell the totality of letting go of my special feelings i've for my ex.. =) and now dear, its happening and i can now understand what you want me to for so long.. and i wish i can let you know it..=(

oh moi law student! ='(

2008-07-13T01:27:00.005+08:00

i promised myself not to talk wid you again..i was about to go to bed after my long talk wid my ex at the phone..when suddenly moi law student called me..

you know that in just a single snip of my fingers everything will fall apart! and i dont want that to happen.. i dont want to fall in love with you!!!!.. you know it will complicate everything.. so please stop telling me some stupid shits.. no! no! please =( stop calling me 'coz i cant help myself not to answer it..i hate to admit the fact that i miss your voice that i really want to hear it =( stop sending me sweet text messages!! quit being so nice!!! stop! noooooo!!! dont please !!! huhuhuhuh dont make promises please.. i dont wanna hear your decisions... i dont wanna hurt somebody.. =( please do the right thing. .and not what you really want.. =( your smart. matured enough and a perfect gentleman and that is you should STAY for her..=(

July 10, 2008.. Happy Birthday Lenai!

2008-07-13T00:48:00.001+08:00

Last Thursday twas lenai’s birthday. One of my closest friend in school(my another good friend s carol) You’ll always see us three in school almost all the time .hehhe we’r like a tripod..=)
Despite of our very stressed-busy-exhausted day, Me and carol decided to surprised her. The day before her birthday we went to balloons station and ordered an arranged balloons for her and have it delivered in school by 11pm on her birthday. We also ordered a black forest cake for her.. it was our surprise for her.
On her birthday, everything fell into places. The balloons were delivered and the cake we had for her was so like perfect. She blew the single candle of the cake (we assumed twas only her 18th birthday) hahaha
By 12nn were out and she treat us out for lunch at shakeys. We’re all in rush ‘coz we’d classes at 1pm.. we went first to asia trading before going back to school to buy disposable plates and spoons.. twas fun. We ate the cake during.our Business Strategy and Policy class together with our classmates and teachers. =)
Hmm..len, Happy Birthday! Luv yah! =)

Good Morning! =)

2008-07-05T07:08:00.002+08:00

i just woke up hehhe

I just absolutely love the weekends.... Guaranteed no demanding appointments to go to but i still had a not-so demanding one though....heehehe I guess it's no big deal, but it just seems like during the week I always have so much to do.... The weekend is a breathe of fresh air.... I just love it!! Especially on sunday Yeah! I have the whole of tomorrow free (except for the homework) to do as I please.
It isn’t that surprising if im very busy during weekdays,, hey!! You’re taking up two bachelor courses all at the same time!!
I feel exhausted from the angst i've been through in the past few days. but i am also feeling better. i know that nothing is resolved yet, but i think it is going to be..=) I always had a busy day when I’m in school but then I enjoy what I am doing and I believe that’s the most important.. all is turning well so far… so I just need to work for it, give my best and Pray.. I know things will just fall right..=)

As usual I had an exhausting day yesterday, but something good happened..=)

We had quite a misunderstanding of this girl way way back..but If im gonna think it by now, the reason was so petty and nonsense.. well anyway, I know at that time I over react maybe because my ex just twisted the whole story..perhaps to deny his infidelity LOL. All typical guys do that.. wat-so-ever.. it isn’t the highlight of this post anyway..
This is what happened.. i was about to enter in our school building around 1:30 in the afternoon yesterday.. the main door was few steps and our classroom was on the 3rd floor.. I was walking ahead of her.. she seems nice that’s why I’d the courage to approach her.. well, I was thinking, if she’ll ignore me I got nothing to lose anyway.. so there, I looked back and said “ hey girl, about what happened last time, just forget about it.. I know that was really funny..” I don’t exactly remember what she said back but I was right that shes nice.. we walked together from the school’s ground floor to the 3rd floor.. and we were having safe and smooth conversation..
I really felt good about it..i thought it was the right time to approach her and to talk about the things that had been left behind because it has been ages ago and its very awkward to think that we’re both studying in the same school we get to see each other anytime o the day and yet there is someone out there u’d the feeling of uncertainty..heheh so now, I would like her to know that everything that I’ve said was true and sincere..God knows it..=)

time to eat my breakfast!! xoxo =)

Update

2008-07-03T05:55:00.004+08:00

I am actually feeling very tired and lazy now.. =( yesterday i arrived home from tito loy’s house.. we’d our dinner there since its kuya bambi’s birthday..=) and by the way kuya bam gave me his pasalubong..yeeey! one of my most fave, body splash VS.. thanx thanx lots..=) I’d a vey busy day yesterday.. my head was whacking all day because of thinking so many things.. I’m pressured to accomplished everything before my day ends,, (..and here I am blogging) lol.. but thank God im almost done…=) but after this, i need to study the whole chapter 6 for our accounting we've recitatation huhuhu and i also need to listen to the opera music so i could choose whats the best for one of the scene in the play..:/

uhmm by the way, yesterday i bought a sliding folder in paper world and i was about to go home when i saw this very cute umbrella..=) i couldnt let it go.. and i had this urge feeling that i really want to have this.. i bought it hahaha i just hope that it will last to me.. ever since i'am a grader, i coulnt count on my toes and fingers the umbrellas that i've lost.. hehhe

Oh btw.. Jackie already gave me the most recent pictures of ours last 27th and during our beach party..i’ll just post here my top picks..hehhehe

2008-07-03T05:25:00.015+08:00

uhhmm.... me and jackie at the beach..=)

its our turn hahaha

another shot..=) hihih

jordan: kawawa naman ni ate germaine,, her comb is missing =) heheh

Yeey! pacute with jordan @ jollibee..=)

ate jacky and ate menmen kisses jordan..=)

waaahh!! with jackie and her lil bro jordan..=)

oh my!! its past six! i need to be in school as early as possible... i'll see yah later.. xoxo

PinTaDos

2008-06-30T03:33:00.005+08:00

i had too much in my mind now i couldnt sleep! just got home actually.. hahah! i went out with family friends tonight.. =) uhmm its fun.. i kept on eating anything eventhough its late..hahha i dont usually do that.. they were drinking beer and i'd water..hahah im still a beer-hater remember? and am always will stick with that. ='p haaays.. i really hate what i am feeling the past days. it started when i watched the search for Ms. Tacloban '08.. i really dunno why..ehermm i mean i know why, i just cant write it all over here..mmmm shhhhh =(

and then the pintados parade, i enjoyed the show somehow, it was great and im proud to be a taclobanon..=) but then the happiest pintados parade i'd ever experience tend to creep on my mind.. i remember that was last year..=) if i only knew that it would only gonna happened once, i hope i felt it to its bestest..=p

all the good memories are still freshly-remembered in my mind and forever will be tresure in my heart..=)

it's so weird. i thought it was over, but by just a single stare.. everything fell apart T-T

yeah.. you can think whatever..its your freewill.. i'd nothin to lose anyway..", im just bein honest.. :/

Good Lord help me please..=(

xoxo

IF YOU THINK THIS IS FOR YOU, THEN READ THIS.. BUT IF NOT, IGNORE..no need to assume =)

2008-06-24T18:03:00.008+08:00

I am not stepping on anyone's shoe though, and i believe that what i have written here is not offensive..", but i just dont wanna elaborate the "Who's Who"...", it aint that important anyway..=)

i am not really sure if by any chances the person (S H E) i am referring to now will actually read this but anyway, i really dont care if she will or not.

i was surprised when xxxxx told me about.. "what-she-had-been-talking-"..i kept on telling xxxxx that "i am not interested".. but xxxxx seemed so eager to let me know all about it.. and again, i wasnt interested to know it..really heheh but xxxxx continued talking and XXXXX was beside me so i still heard all the things xxxxx said. . to dropped the topic i just answered xxxxx back with a smile, w/c i tried to imply "i'd no comment with that".

upon hearing "xxxxx" story, i realize then and at the same time i wonder why does she had to ask all those..hahah if how do i look? if who i am? if what i am?.....wat-so-ever-.....but then its not a big deal..", i just want to comment what she did..hehhe

to tell her honestly, she is not making any sense for asking all of it and everything that she said about me...

and i also wanna tell her.. HE IS ALL YOURS! for all i care =) what we have was PAST.. and YOU'RE COMPLETELY OUT OF IT...ayt? ",

But you know what, if it will help you.. just pretend that i never existed at all.. i wouldnt mind that.. swear.. hehehe =)

the best thing you should do,just be happy of what both of you's life becoming now.. and pray that you guys can work things out...=)

and ohh before i forget,, yoU need to worry for nothing... all right?? =)

P.S after reading this i hope you can now have a good night sleep .. hehehe i'm kidding ", xoxo.

lonely trixie =(

2008-06-21T21:04:00.003+08:00

I pitied trixie tonight. =( while I was typing something right here infront of the pc she suddenly sat on my lap.. she seems so sad.=( maybe because she misses her 3 little kittens that I gave away to my friends..my mom doesn’t like cats. The moment that trixie gave birth she told me to give it away to my friends because she hates seeing cats roaming around the house.. mom said it really annoys her.. that’s why trixie loves to just stay inside my room with me..=)

weee! =)

2008-06-21T10:14:00.003+08:00

Once again it has become SaTurdaY!!. And how happy that makes me! I love Saturdays. It's off and there's no homework or what so ever for tomorrow. I can just let myself lose my brain for a few days, and just chill. I don't think I have any plans. But there is some things I would like to do before the weekend ends.

1. Finalize the script and create a final draft for the setting.

2. Complete more missions in GTA.

3. Finish the novel entitled The Divide by Nicholas Evans.

4. study my lessons in each subject on Sunday.
5. Stay creative. =’)

Sounds great fun, yeah? It sure does to me. I feel so much better today, as if all my worries has disappeared and flown away while the creativety has filled up my mind...hihih I like it that way. In school we had an introduction to web page designing, with listening questions, code and and html understanding and all those thingys. i hate it sometimes because its sooo confusing but I think I did a good job..=)

Afterwards i had to write a review about a film on the computer. I had like 1½ hour to finish it, but I finished mine after 40 minutes.

Right now I'm making my ITunes Library more wide in genres. It's kinda boring only having pop-ish and chant music on your computer, when you feel like having a re-invention. Anyone know of any good musicians, or an opera singers? with a different style in music/lyrics/beats? I'd love to hear from anyone who has something like that! ^^And that's it for today. I'm movving on to be social and happy with my family for tonight. I'm feeling oh-so-happy and nothing can get me down. Btw, no(!) I don't want anyone or anythingg to try me on, to see if it can ruin my mood. I don't feel up to losing it ^^,

Btw, yesterday strong winds associated with tropical storm "frank" all over region 8.. it causes millions of damages all over... thank God that we have a fine weather now..",

when insanity strikes! =)

2008-06-16T20:54:00.006+08:00

So I went home around 2 o’clock today feeling so exhausted. I wasn’t on the mood to go back to school since supposedly I still have classes to attend to. I also need to cancel some of my other commitments after class. It was all because am not on the mood to think, to decide, to write, to direct, to instruct and everything that involves thinking. My brain wasn’t working earlier and all I want to do is to shut my mind off first for a little while. I need my room. Lie down on my bed. Close my eyes and listen to Gregorian chant’s music. I didn’t sleep. It was my way of meditating myself, To feel the peace of mind, to put God on my heart. And To clean my soul. And it was very relaxing. I usually do it only once in a while but now, after feeling so great I think I should do it more often.

Now, I am me again. =)

see? ------------>

Narcissism follows afterwards. LoL.

the lessons..=p

2008-06-15T21:49:00.002+08:00

Life has always its twists and turns. It’s actually one of the most very crucial word to define. How I wish that I could manipulate my life like I do to my hairstyles. As easy as that. Oh by the way, I got a new hair-do!! =) hihihihi anyways, but you know life isn’t as easy as going to a salon and tell your hairdresser to do this and that because you want to thinking the fact that you could easily change that If you don’t like it anymore.
The only permanent in the world is I guess CHANGE..=) it pertains to all aspects physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.. agree? That’s my opinion. Theres no such thing as forever! No matter how long its gonna be it can never be called that way.

I received a text message just few minutes ago and you know I cant get over smiling and feeling better after I read it and text him back.. yeah, hIm.=) guess its gonna be better if no particular names must be written to avoid “intrigues”. mahirap na, I don’t really know who reads this blog. I have an idea who are though but still not all of them. Especially that I intend to give away the site of this so better to stick to my limitations in writing my thoughts…although I know that If youre my friend you had a little clue whom I was talking about now or I think you could guess it right.. .hahhaha ssshhhh..and I wont be elaborating much on the HOW’s.. anyway, anyway, this is what just happened. he texted me. and I was really surprise. He was the last person I have in mind that will ever text me oh well it was just a very simple message.. i didn’t dare ask where did he got my no. since I know we still have our common friends. His first message was hows my life doing now? And have his name after the message. sincerely I replied that im doing okay and asked him back the same question. And our text conversation went smoothly w/o mentioning and remininscing the good and the bad old days. It was as if it never existed at all. And it was all casual.

I am really glad that I could definitely tell that I have totally moved on to that chapter of my life which I think its been long long time naman na talaga its just that, it was only now that we have given the chance to communicate again. I can no longer feel the grudge, the anger, the resentment, the pains and perhaps the love I had for him at that time. But I wont deny that I still care for the person and I still am interested to know what his life going on now.but its just up to there. Its not impossible since somehow he had been a part of my life for some time. And he was once the reason of my smiles and laughter. Until now, I couldn’t really believe that it will came to a point like this that we are able to tell jokes w/ each other again and just laugh. . but then yeah its really true, time heals everything no matter how painful it had been . no matter how much tears you shed.
This may sound too used phrase but it’s still aplicable. EVERything happens for its own reason. Whatever any other reasons why he came, i am sure that one of them helped me to become who I am now and I have learned all the lessons that helped me all throughout. It had contributed on my personal growth and future development LOL. “, Knowing him has been good for me. a lot of things has been said and done before. But the good thing, I was able to accept it and used what had happened as an advantage on my part rather than detriment.
I have also learned that you should give yourself a chance to heal. Time is a very wonderful healer, it may take longer to recuperate but still, it will come. I was also able to give time to myself to get hurt and grieve and adjust to the loss but after I have sorted out my responsibility of what happened and talk it over with a friend I learned to put the past behind me and keep it there.
Anyways, I should stop now. oh before I forget, thanks for offering me the friendship again and I am really glad to have you as one of my friends. =)

World's Best Buddies.. Nikka and Jackie =)

2008-06-13T07:27:00.004+08:00

Message sent from Jackie 12june08, 7:06:53am
HI bes.=) nika texted.=)

Forwarded message from nikka 12june08, 6:58:06am
Hi jack, good morning si nikka to. I was looking through our pictures when we used to still hang out with menmen I realized how much I miss you both and the best times, when we’d crash the town. I even remember someone’s lover couldn’t help but check us 3 out and his g getting pissed. I have an undeniable gorgeous set of riends who are definitely worth to be tagged my true friends. Mwahh one day when our sched permits we’l crash the town again btw I lost menmen’s no.but I’d appreciate it f u’d extend my regards.. tc. Mwah

and i miss you so much too ka..and everything..=)

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when she discovers that someone else believes in her and is willing to trust her with her friendship."

for jackie and kaka..and to all my friends who played great roles in my life.

I agree that friendship is more important thing in anyone's life. Other things only follow... Well, yes it's true!
A friend in you taught me to look at things differently.
A friend in you cheered me up whenever I was low.
A friend in you boosted me whenever I went off-track.
A friend in you always... Always listened to my crap and didn't say a word!
A friend in you walked with me to bring me back on track! ",

True friendship can be hard to grasp. And I am glad I have true friends. and I am continuously learning about the ins and outs of friendship.

I have moved around so much in my life so far, hardly staying in one place for quite longer And I have never had a problem making friends. hmm I think so.,”, It was keeping them. It is developing a strong friendship that’s pure and true. I have trouble grasping the idea that one person knows the real me, and my inner feelings. Is it just something we learn as we grow, or is it all in the person you choose to make that very special friend? Or is it just because we are honest with each other and share majority of everything with each other that it has made a bond stronger than any material known.

But I do know one thing, I am willing to hold onto this very special friendship I have with jackie and kaka..,no one can steal them away from me..=) Perhaps I am still learning what the meaning of a true friendship is, and what it involves. In conclusion, I believe that no person can evaluate what makes a perfect friendship, as we are all individuals. We all have different beliefs and values, so therefore we all decide what we call a pure and true friendship.

eMo RaNt =d

2008-06-12T00:23:00.006+08:00

Sometimes…(most of the time should I say) I wish I could just curl into a ball so tight that I would just disappear, like I never existed at all. But no matter how tight I squeeze I can never disappear, and I never feel much better about since i've almost lost him…or anything else. Its been over 60 days now… I think 63 days to be exact…from me crying my eyes out everyday for such a great nightmare.

Life is a series of disappointments. Agree with me or not, you know that I am right. Once in a while, life gives you just enough of a boost upwards so that it can slam you back down to the ground with the force of a twelve pounds sledgehammer.In general these days, life is good, but I can't help but wonder when the whole thing is going to come crashing down on top of my head. I enjoy what im ddoing in my work as of the moment and I'm beginning to make friends after moving away from all that I knew. But there's still that fear that when I least expect it, someone or something is going to pull the string and all of it is going to fall like a soufflé in the oven when someone slams the door...I keep telling myself that I am wrong and that life can be good. Life can do wonderful things, but with all the times in the past, I feel like it's history repeating itself all over again. Life works in circles, you know and this seems to be no different than any other time. We'll just have to wait and see. If it is just iteration in this life, then I'll be ready for it. I've been hurt enough times in the past that life can't fool me like that anymore. My heart and mind are long since scarred from the past and scars are nature's armor against further damage...

Thank You

2008-06-12T00:15:00.003+08:00

weeee you call me Direk??? sounds so dignified hahaha whooo are you sure it refers to me?? nyahahaha ohh well i'll say its an honor for me and my pleasure as well..heehee

<--Look what they got for me…=) I was really surprised earlier when I went at Maam Mira’s office at around 11 this morning, where we usually held our practice..=) they gave me an 8”x8” picture frame..and I asked Corkie, whom I suspected the mastermind of all these, to save this picture on my flash drive so I could post it here.. yeeey! Thanks guys! Everybody’s job-well-done is just paid off that’s why you shouldn’t thank me and you owe me nothing.. twas all because of our effort. and im indeed thankful that I have such a great team that you always inspired me to write good scripts..=)
Now, we’re about to face quite challenging task again because our bosses just informed us that our team is the one chosen who’ll perform on a bigger theatre.. and we were given 2-months to make it perfectly.. and everyone seemed thrilled and excited..=)
So guys, hang on.. just bear in mind that we are all good and I am confident that we can make everything in order..=)
Our classes is upcoming so I hope we should do our best though I know we always do.. uhmm the BEST-EST perhaps this time hehhe .. I just hope we’ll all be able to manage our time well so we could make things fall into places and w/o so much hassles and panics u know what I mean..=) luv ya’ll..=p

Rambling Thoughts! =p

2008-06-10T06:10:00.003+08:00

<= i just found this pic on one of my pixy's folder..=p ehehehe

So,i woke up early today! hehe i am siiting here at my bed, thinking that i really need to go back to sleep soon. I am planning on getting off right after i write this note, which could be long...Oh well :) First off i just want to say, i love this weather, it actually feels more like November, finally! I think i have a mosquito bite actually. ahaha Oh well, the point is, its nicer out :)

My back hurts right now, i just thought i would let you know, cause its another very boring aspect of my life. The life that you shouldn't even be reading about right now ;) And i also forgot to put the earrings i wore yesterday.. I only have 3pairs out of 8pairs in...And i have to wear a skirt on my work..to look more dignified and uhmmm respected :O I am dreading that, i hate wearing skirts/dresses. They just feel so inhibiting. I can't run, or jump, or climb playground equipment or anything with a skirt on. How awful! I am very glad i didn't live in the days when women all had to wear skirts/dresses always. That would have been more than i could stand. o.o Maybe i am only just weak. I don't know. I guess i will find out someday, huh?

Another thing, what is with everybody trying to set me up with all of these guys? I think there are 4-5 different guys that my friends want me to date. Its kinda ridiculous. I'm cool with being single for now. God has it under control, i don't need my friends playing matchmaker. Honestly~ ok so you gurls please stop that..=p aryt.

anyhoo, i think normal people are pretty boring.. hear me out! I think "normal" people are pretty much ruled by what others think. They have such a high regard for other people's opinions that they just do whatever, so people will like them. Whereas strange/weird/odd people, don't give a care what others think, they do things only if they want to. As a result they are a lot more fun. They do/say whatever they want to and live a very happy life. Yup, its true.. Well, i think i am winding down a bit, my energy is starting to leave me finally, so i shall be going to sleep again very soon. :) Yay! Hehehe, when was the last time i was happy to go to sleep? Maybe i will write again someday, i probably will...I 've been thinking lately, about how i ended up the way i am. I think i finally figured it out.Not that i will tell you, but i just thought you'd want to know that i know, why. Hehehe, well...i think i'll have to be going. Work later and all. Actually..i'll probably be online for a while yet, but its the thought of sleep that counts, right? xoxo

Ms. Unpredictable-Moody-Braintwisted-nO mOrE

2008-06-06T10:26:00.003+08:00

yesterday, I went at the dean’s office together wid my girlfriends lenai and carol ‘coz I was about to let maam jen sign the shifting form.. I finally made up my mind.. im quitting accountancy once again.. it ddnt go that easy i'll tell yah,, she made a lil sermon and she seemed good enough in contradicting my decision.. Telling me., that’s the most stupid decision that I should regret someday.. convincing me not to..hhaaaaays.. but maam jen has the talent of encouraging&enlightening quitter people like me and that I couldn’t resist her convincing power .. for a couple of minutes, I was able to decide again. .knowing the fact that the decision isn’t as simple as choosing a nice color of a bag but it will definitely change my career path for the rest of my life..

well, once again I made up my mind, I gotta go for it,, im not quitting but rather stepping forward to a higher step..its time for me to really take this seriously and put these all 100% by heart.. yeah.. I really should..

Whheeew!! And now Its final..!!! on the 16th of june its gonna be the beginning of the uhmm journey?? Yah.. if you’ll call it that way… lol maam jen (the school dean) and I talked earlier and its final and signed.. after further-a-dos.. im taking up dual bachelors degree for college.. =) and I know it isn’t that easy to take up the “head whacking” course Bachelor of Science in Accountancy and at the same time Bachelor of Science in Business Administration E-Marketing major… I’ve really planned to take up those courses when I first entered at ABE International College but then at the nth hour I decided to take up BSBA Mgt major alone instead.. but a gazillion thanks to maam, she’s that good enough to made my mind changed.
All this time, I’ve been Germaine, the quitter..=p I know eversince, I was a quitter.hahah if I think I couldn’t make it.. if I think its hard.. If I think it will take much of my effort and time… I’ll quit.=)for me life is as easy as that.. . I was afraid to take chances, to take risks and to gamble.. I want a sure win play.. =p w/c I later on found out that it will do nothing good in my life…it will just gonna pull me down for a brighter future.. realizing that I couldn’t get the best and be the best if I’ll just stick my b*tt to something w/c is for me the “easiest”..=)

After I graduated my high school.. I found it really hard in choosing whats the best course for me.. I never actually take this soo seriously,,yeah really.. I mean I am serious when it comes to studying my lessons but still at the other side of mind a big question was always there. That’s why ive been a school and a course hopper for past years. I tried my luck in bs accountancy right after graduating highschool but at that time i wasn’t that serious..i just finished one sem and decided to quit and take my chances to bs nursing for the reason that most of my friends were taking up that course..*such a lame reason! I just get through wid the entire sem and again i decided to follow what my heart really desires.. I was almost enrolled at AB Psychology.. because really I wanna be a psychologist or if luckier a psychiatrist..am a psycho! wahahha 'kiddin i looove that field..but then I guess it isn’t right..i had lots of friends in ABE IC..i heard a lot of positive feedbacks and they seemed enjoying, learning and fulfilled and that made me decided to pursue my businesswoman-wanna-be aspirations ..

But it wasn’t that easy either..i’d lots of choices for my first step.. a lot of business courses were offered.. ‘til such at that day on, I was able to find out the best decision I ever made for my 19years-almost of living in the world.. and now, I felt really happy, fulfilled, and determined to get through on what I have started.. with God’s grace, the encouragement of all the people who cared for me, and with my abilities and determinitation..I know I can make it…its gonna be hard I know but hey! If others can, I can too =) most probably, by hook and by crook in less than 3-years I wanna be somebody that I really want me to be..=) Bless me oh Lord! =)

im sad! =(

2008-06-03T17:04:00.002+08:00

just got a text message from mom. dad was confine in the hospital due to his too much intake of fruits w/c made his potassium count high and it isnt good for him.. im really sad! =( it really depresses me and i felt so upset when the family faces health problem like my dad's condition now.. it may be impossible that he'll gonna be cured totally but atleast my good Lord dont made him suffer.. i hate seeing him in pain...=( we are all trying our best to support him to the best way we can.. seeing him in pain.. Gawd! it really broke my heart.. thats the toughest part.. it really made us so weak if we can see papa in pain =( i know all these time, he was trying to be strong... he was trying to pretend that everything is normal.. that he's ok.. but most of the time you could see it on his eyes the heavy load he'd been carrying..=( as a daughter, seeing you're dad like that... its really hard. he couldnt even walk properly. he couldnt even lie down.. he couldnt even drink plenty of water.. a maximum of 350 ml daily only.. Gawd! please help papa..=( give him enough strength =( i hope he'll feel better the soonest! =( Gawd! i dunno how is it gonna be w/o him.. eversince i am daddy's lil girl..=( and my mom Lord,, give her enough strength that she'll be able to surpassed for all the trials u've given to our family..=( i could see on her eyes how affected she is to dad's health condition.. =(

Lord may You take care of everything..=( i know these all happen for a reason..=( i know You're just up there and You will never leave us....

whoo!=p

2008-06-02T19:48:00.004+08:00

time really does fly so fast! it seemed only yesterday i was self-searching on what course am i goin to take up again (for the 3rd time after graduating high school?) lol.. but now i am fully determined to get through wid my two bachelor courses.. it will take time i know but with God's grace and my sacrifices i believe that someday ill gonna reach the finish line..=)

Now I'm here, halfway through college and feeling old already. haha I turn left and right, searching for someone to smile and run with me into the night, weeewks! =p our only light the ever-loving moon. To my dismay, I am just as busy as everyone else...but everyone else would rather study/finish their tasks then drop everything and disappear for a little while. Am I the only one out here that feels this burning urge to break free every once in a while? To live and breathe the fresh air of being young? To forget for a few moments that there are errands to be run, papers to be written, tests to worry about? haaays..=p

last night the full moon triggered these feelings inside of me. It used to be, on nights like that, I would grab someone, anyone, and just head outdoors. Walk a few blocks, or not walk at all, and sit somewhere on the ground (heck even LIE DOWN) and stare at the stars. Conversations by moonlight, the whispering of secrets under the velvety shield of the night sky...things that vanish in the morning. There was just something about the night that always made everyone softer, easier to talk to and more open to unwinding the threads of their lives to share with friends. The gentle strumming of a guitar in the background...my friends and I lying on a blanket spread on top of cold pavement, the city lights glittering at our feet and the stars holding us from above. We lie still, listening to our soft exhales playing into the melodies of the wind. 3 AM...and no one wants to go home. Trapped there on top of the mountain, in a sandwich between the city below us and the infinite sky above--we are young. Life is still a long journey ahead of us..=p

uhhw.. beach party!

2008-05-31T06:23:00.001+08:00

gotta meet bestriend now.. we'll have breakfast date at mcdonalds! and go to the beach after! yahooo.. am so excited! =) c yah! mwah

Missin' out ",

2008-05-29T07:38:00.003+08:00

Life is a tricky tricky thing.

everyone says life is bad or life is hard but to be fair life is just as sweet as it is sour, we all have our ups and downs in life. sometimes life will give you the worst hand possible but then at those choice moments it will give you one of the greatest possible highs. life is something to be valued not hated, sometimes i feel upset when i see the so called "average troubled gurlier" but then i feel pity, we are what we make ourselves. if i walk around all day hating life and looking for the negatives and feeling sorry for myself then what is my mood going to be? how could i possibly smile if every thought that goes through my head is something along the lines of "why me?" or "this sucks"? but if you walk around holding your head high, and at least looking for the positive side of things it will dramatically change your life,. i went on a depression banged once, for few weeks i was an emotional wreck, i was less active and i lost touch with the world around me. I attempted suicide 5 times within the allotted time.haha that was the most stupid thing i've ever think and uhmm did..=p It seemed like nothing could help me, until i saw kids playing on a swing set and i realized that things like this, happy things, were happening around me all the time i was just looking down and ignoring them. i was missing out. that is why i pity the "troubled gurlie" because they truly are missing out on life. i say live life by moments, don’t get caught up in a single one, experience as many as possible and move on. look for those happy moments in your life, it has done wonders for me..=)

i'm up here at the roof.. blogging! =) lolz

2008-05-27T11:49:00.003+08:00

"Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you"

yah know what.. i always put this saying on my head.. and it helped..=)

It's a full moon tonight.The days have been hot, and the nights have been nice and cool.Right now would be the perfect time to go for a walk...if I had someone to walk with…anyways never mind! =p haaays the past months had been a roller-coaster life for me.. everything seemed happening so fast! I’ve been really busy.. super busy. I felt like 24 hours in a day isn’t enough to get my task done.. my mind’s always preoccupied! Ever imagine that kind of life! Mentally and physically busy! Haaays.. anyways,, not bad.. im learning so much from it.. a lot. And I always love to have a working mind.=p I had this crazy thinking, I felt like my mind will stopped and forget everything whats inside on it if I’ll stuck it up in a day.. that’s why I do love reading and thinking! =) just for the sake of making my mind work..=) crazy.=p surfing in the net and writing are my ways of pampering myself during my free time..=)

May 25, 2008 San Jose Fiesta

2008-05-27T11:29:00.003+08:00

wid my everdearest kaka..=) a.k.a chuyoung lolz

Nikka then invited us lunch time because its fiesta in san jose where she resides.. since Jackie couldn’t go because she not a catholic and going to fiestas was against in their religion I called up jerica if shez free and can come… we went there at around 12nn. The ever-pretty-sexy and hospitable mom of nikka was the one entertained us at first because kaka was still upstairs at that time.. Kaka’s mom then told me “ hala germaine,, u gained weight compare to the last time I saw you but still pretty..=)” marge then said… “ haggi axa eto ito it mga broken-hearted tita“ hmm.. the silent-type chino was also there and they really looked cute and funny together.. I was happy for kaka because I can really sense how “tinamaan” she is to chino and vice versa… =) at around 4pm dikay texted that she was coming… when dikay was there,, kaka said hmm.. anoman irignom kita!? Wooow ha.. as if we weren’t figure conscious-panic type hahaha we were discussing the calories of the liquor we ought to drink so the lesser the better.. we then chose the tequila-alike… dikay asked “ are you sure menmen, you’ll drink? Upaya naman!?” hehehhehe I said “ oo gad,, hehhee kaka obviously doesn’t know how to “tagay” for herself and for chino shes doing it glass-full! My gushhh… w/o ice huh..heheh I used a wine glass for myself I just had 2 shots because I felt like my head was on fire and I decided to stop.. hehehhe I dont drink actually… and a beer-hater too..hehhe so yun.. blaaaaaahh blaaaaaah a lot what happened there I just coudnt detailed it because I guess its better that what-happened-there-we’ll-just-leave-it-there..=) hehehhe

Oh btw,, thanks to dikay and chino..=) and most especially to KaKa….. and I hope you know that you’re indeed a beautiful person inside and out..=) I know better. I am your friend.. and one more thing, Don't Live for what People think... Live for how you feel.. we still have a very beautiful life ahead… =) I love you too ka and my loyalty too will stay with you forever..=)

the May 24, 2008 beautiful nightmare! =)

2008-05-27T11:07:00.004+08:00

along in the pic at DZR Airport are maam rose-CHED rep-maam jen-maam jo-DTI rep-sir richard-me =)-maam jackie

is there such?? uhmm yeah.. i'll tell you..=) lol

im back to reality again.. whhheeew!! wake up! wake up!! i need to be up as early as 8am because i need to be at LP hotel at 9 this morning.. =p
Its ABE International’s Commencement Exercises..=) the event was held at Leyte Park Hotel. I went there around 9 in morning because our summer class professor will be checking the attendance..i thought my task was just to organized the seating arrangement. I went there wearing a skinny jeans and a preggy-look black and white blouse on my top and a pair of brown slippers.. when I went there at the venue I was hesistant to went upstairs because my classmates weren’t there yet. I stayed at San Pedro Bay…sipping a pineapple juice.. (I was thinking I can have the same taste of that ordinary juice at home w/o spending too much..hmmp. im a money-wise type of person I hate spending too much on something not worth it I mean I have nothing against the place its just that im just being practical hehehe ) while waiting for my classmates reply on the text messages I’d sent to them.. tik-tac-tic-tak that was the sound of my watch I was hearing then finally someone replied.. its from lenai… telling me to stay where I was because maam jo needs me..=p when lenai told me they were amost there at the venue, I paid my bill and start walking to the venue. Weeeew, when lenai went down to maam jo’s suv I was like “ wow,, len ha you look dignified” she was wearing a slacks and a heeled-shoes and a formal blouse.. lenai then said “ ayaw saba dida uday kay naduha kita it matapo” again I was like,.. “oh no youre kidding, with what am I wearing now showing her my preppy attire, thats impossible” so there I found out later on, we were tasked to meet the guest speaker, who is a VIP and a renowned nationwide for its very impressive personality and high educational attainment.. (it isn’t proper if I’ll mention still his name *sorry). Then there, I don’t have any right to complain.. its maam jo and hey! shes our school director… hehehe =p then there… we heard maam jo saying hopped in girls,, we’re in a hurry… according to maam jen the plane will board at around 10:30 and it was 10:00 already (our school time) we were heading Daniel Romualdez Aiport at San Jose when maam jen (our school dean) called up and told us the plane landed already!! And the banner, the corsage and all those “welcoming him stuff “ were with us… and we’re still in coca cola… maam jo was like “ oh my gusshhh… sana mapakulob hya! Sna maguba an purtahan han plane..” we were all in tense but bursting out laughing.. maam jo was driving fast when accidentally the san jose jeep turn left w/o any signal.. and she suddenly stepped the brake and you can imagine what we were like inside the car…haaays.. very bad driver! We were in the airport on the very exact time.. we passed by at the vip pass door..=p maam Jackie and maam rose were raising the banner.. lenai was holding the long shell necklace and I was holding the camera… when were near w/ them ..him and some other (CHED)Comission on Higher Education’s Vip we shook hands and took picture…=)

at around 2 in the afternoon..=p

2008-05-27T10:54:00.005+08:00

me- mr.vip- lenai
Haaays finally, despite of the shortcomings earlier.. we were able to made it hehehhe but wait!!! it didn’t end up just there! I’ll tell yah.... do yah know what??? We (me and lenai) were again tasked by maam jen to fetch the VIP at Hotel Alejandro with sir Richard… at around 2pm we went at hotel A to fetch the honorable guests.. I was like "oh my gush len.. makarawod talaga tak sul-ot…imagine naka-slipers la ako... huhuhu if only I knew hagiii and my hair too.'twas a mess hmmp…." Haaay…but of course, for profesionalism’s sake I still manage to smile and act with composure…haaays cge nala.. when we were there, the three vip’s were at cafe teresa. We introduce ourselves and again shook hands like “hey, we too are business-like people” lolz… me says “ good afternoon sir I am germaine, a student of ABE and I hope were all ready to go…(with a smile pa huh) honestly, I was mesmerized by him… Mr. Vip was very handsome hahah neat and hes an inch a perfect gentleman.. I only used to saw him in newpapers and in tv and I couldn’t believe he was right infront of me and not to mention we held hands I mean uhmm we shook hands hahhaha and by the time he said “yeah, were better get going…annaay la pade.. hehhe mahirit pa ako.. I then courteously said ..” uhmm sir by the way if you don’t mind can we take even just a single picture? fOr documentation purposes lang po…" I was helping myself not to burst out laughing..hehhe because when I looked at lenai.. I know she’d meaningful smile.. but since he was really nice and a perect gentleman like ive just said..his secretary volunteered to took the pic… wahahahahha funny. we then accompanied him to Sir Richard’s Xuv and there were heading at the venue again… =) maam jen asked me to assist him, uwwaaw hehe…before he took his seat he asked me where the rest room was.. lenai led the way… I was hoding his grad ribbon and the corsage and maam jen told me I’ll be the one wholl pin it…I was like oh m g… nyaayks.. finally when he went out the rest room I led him the way to the main door.. thanks to sir mark by not leaving me alone in taking his toga and his grad gown on.. this was now the WORST part, while I stretch my hands to put his necklace corsage on his neck, my bra suddenly untied.. oh my g.. just a lil move and everything for sure will broke down,,gusshh gusshh sir mark was really an angel at that time because he was the one whos actually doing everything that was supposedly my task..hehehe and there it was, after the Mr. VIP’s name was called by the emcee.. it was now my chance to walked away.. and that’s it… haaays,, I went to the rest room and place everything in order lolz bestfrend where are u.. I need yuuu huhuhuhu…=”

at around 4 in the afternoon..

2008-05-27T10:36:00.002+08:00

meeting up wid my bestfriend finally..=p

I texted my bestfriend, Jackie if shes free and if we can meet up Because I really need someone to talk to how was my day and a lot more stuff.. im so glad she loves me that much that after just almost an hour she was there and I started telling her “everything”…we went to Mr. Donuts Zamora, while we were waking we encountered a lot of common friends and we even met Teacher Tes,, and she said woow maine, gumasa Kaman!? Ohhhw dba? hahahhaa.. after there, we weren’t contented by just being an hour together hehhe we decided to stay in rizal park and we continued the never-ending talking about stuff even the super private&confidential and we’ll laugh and talk and laugh.. then we decided to dine in at plaza grill w/c located just inside the park,,,=)

Haaays tenkyu talaga bestfriend! You’re the best! ==) luvyah luvyah pano na ako kung wala ka..=)

3-Day Get-AwaY naTure TrippiN' =)

2008-05-27T09:51:00.004+08:00

May 21-23

It had been a rather tough week for me. a lot of Deadlines to meet, meetings with clients. No time for a lunch. Stolen moments for a coffee. i needed to unwind for once…
I had a great time with Chelle, Pedj and Gadz. All the time we were together we were always laughing. Anything we’ll talk about It’ll always end up with laughters. Funny though. I miss it! Now, I am back to reality.. the-all-works-and-no-play thingy.. but better this way.. atleast, there’s a lesser chances for me to think about things that depresses me so =p
What we have done there??
Talking, eating, lying and sleeping! =p our 3-day-get-away rotates on that 4-verbs at Gadilyn's place. it was very nice there..far from city life's hassles … Nanay (gadz’ mom) asked us if we wanna go swimming in the beach but since I am a typical home buddy and a sun-scare type of person I just told her I prefer to stay home,,,of course the other three will chose to stay home too.. hehe “walang iwanan” sorry guys if I seemed killjoy at that time..its just that at this time, I hate going out and mingling other people.. sorry .”, we did enjoy naman staying at gadz’ room and just eat, talk and laugh…, ayt…?? I now we did encounter lots of “disaster” If you call it that way..when we were on our way back home…thanks to me.. “hehhe , u know that I always love adventures!! Heheh I always want to put a spice in my life… it isn’t that bad to experienced all those some time in our lives! Hehehhehe hhhhhmmm…. Its because you know what??? I insisted to ride in a big bus with a lot of different class of people than choosing the airconditioned van… chelle and pedj called it disaster because they did not agree in the first place but I left them no choice..(with my lil touch on there conscience by telling them “whats wrong with those people in the bus?? Nakakatamay gad kamo! =( ).. hahaha obviously they felt irritated and annoyed when we were finally inside the bus and too bad, we were on separated seats.. *peace* but I find it cool.=p

Anyways, lets charge all of it to experience..=) it happened only once and I promise the next time I’l behave heheh..anyways,, I just wanna let you know guys I really enjoyed the company…. Thanks..=) especially to nanay,, whose very hospitable and kind…=) (and to my nanay who always text me every now and then asking when I’ll be home…hmp. =p

im soOo stress!

2008-05-21T05:59:00.002+08:00

i need a break!!!! i'll be out in the city for a three-day vacation.. see yah!! =)

untitled

2008-05-20T21:01:00.002+08:00

"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go."

yeah.. true though.. but its really hard.. believe me.. me and his mom, tita carmy talked 2 days ago… it was somewhat very serious and emotional conversation.. she told me the real situation of jukie.. and it broke my heart. =( I never thought it was that serious. I’ve been very positive regarding his health condition… but now, knowing the truth broke my heart into pieces so small…. Wheew!! Another challenge to me. I battled with depression again.. but hey! That’s life! …. Yeah.

Tita carmy wants me to be free. And that I shouldn’t be miserable. She wants me to be happy because I still have a beautiful life to look forward to. She doesn’t wants me to be chained into something w/o assurance. She was crying really hard and I was crying too.. she said she knew how much jukie loves me and he’ll do everything to make stay and it pained her for telling me all those,, its as if she’s pushing me away. She felt guilty but on the other hand, I perfectly understand her.. tita carmy is a beautiful person in and out and I know she did that because she cares for me..and she wants me to be happy and she thinks it’s the best way to do…and I should respect her for that…Jukie’s rehabilitation takes time and there was no assurance that everything will get back to normal.. it’s so hard to believe but that’s the reality. And I should accept that and look at the brighter side.. yeah.. Easier said than done.. haaaaaaaaaysss.. wait! I thought writing here whats on my heart and mind will lessen the burden I am feeling right now but it isn’t happening…I think I should stop writing now.. I cant take this anymore.. T-T (.. to be continued some other time just not now..)

weee! confused (again..)

2008-05-19T20:12:00.005+08:00

Right now, i just feel like i can't go on, that the whole world is running against me.. he is in pain,and i pity him.. its as if my heart had been ripped. I try so hard to be strong, but i can only do so less. Life would have been so different for me. Through and through i keep telling myself i've made the right decisions. Then, in retrospect, i look back and almost regret those decisions. What would life be like? That was supposed to be me. No one would really know that i get upset about these things, not anyone. I don't let my weak side show to many people.

Love almost always leads to heartache and i don't want to have to deal with that in this lifetime again. Maybe later on in the future if things keep going well, i could eventually let my guard down.

hey hey! i should stop writing now.. i am exhausted again and i dont actually think well before i wrote it down here i understand if you're confused with what i am talking about because i myself was confuse too.. T-T

brain-storming

2008-05-17T07:25:00.005+08:00

I'm not sure if letting the world into my mind and thoughts is a good idea or if it will a help at all but maybe the fact that I'm subconsciously aware that people maybe reading this could help me talk openly and honestly. when I think about all those things I want to say to people or even get things sorted out in my head I find I run round in circles and not get anywhere, it's so frustrating. If anyone does end up reading this then you are most likely not to understand any of it. Or maybe you will. Do you ever get that feeling where you believe your the only one in the world who thinks the way you do or feels the way you do, and that no-one will ever understand what your going through, no matter how significant it may be? At the end of the day, yes, there are people out there so much worse of than me and even those of you reading this but at the time of your low and depressant times you feel you should be the only important one there and then and you feel frustrated that you can not express what your feeling, you feel unable to speak the words. How can one average individual like myself just a working class young woman be feeling all these things at one time. Almost everyone I know can speak so openly about there thoughts and feeling. So why can't I? Will i ever be able to?? Who knows!

So i shall be leaving it there and trying to keep this blog upto date.Everyday I will be added about my day my thoughts my feelings, this may sound boring upto now but i'm hoping whatever i end up writing and comments i get back can help me through what I am now! i Can't tell you now what it is because I don't understand any of it myself, so this is a new thing for me to try, a test if you like! anyway, wish me luck! x S x

written post inspired by jukie =)

2008-05-11T16:56:00.006+08:00

One day i just come to a realization... i see that life goes on and better things come along... i learn not to dwell on what i had... i just think of the past as a learning experience... i realized not to regret anything and try to always move forward.. I now understand what Love is and know that I want to achieve that again, its about karma, all the sacrifices and hurt and the tears and the tests will all be worth it in the end because it is now my turn to be spoiled, I gave everything I had and it wasn't good enough. Therefore, I have learned one thing... that one can not always win one must move on from failures and accept that everything happens for a reason, what is meant to be will be and just let it happen check out my other blog the post entitled REVELATIONS at http://www.menmenspeaks.blogspot.com/

All About Germaine...

Happy Anniversary Babe!

Feb. 11---- V&G fiesta

Feb 7, 2010----- Dad's 55th

jan 31 Jogging Time

the past weeks...

A Rainy Sunday!

my handsome hero :) so keso, but so true :)

a Happy tiring tuesday :D

bad day after a good day (jan 7, 2008)

2010- My 21st New Year

My One Great Love, Au Revoir

here we are again T-T

bad days after good days

about a friend..

White Sand of Jasmin Resort, Marabut Samar

San Rafael's Farm

Busay Falls Resort, Babatngon

how do i breathe without you here by my side....

omg..watta-a-blooper!

Busy mode :(

sunday night 2-1-09

cliche ';p

January 29, 2009 hapy birthday je!

January 25, 2009 Happy Birthday Carlo

January 17, 2009 Happy birthday Angeli!!

January 5, 2009 Happy Beerday Coconut Shell (bagul)

January 5, 2009.. hAPPY BIRTHDAY KA! =)

i feel so freakin bad ;(

just some thoughts to ponder

Happy 7th Birthday Issa!

November 28, 2008 Happy Birthday Ram!!

Happiness! ",

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!

oct 31, 2008 marabut trip again =')

Oct 30, 2008 Happy Birthday BIBI Bro!

oct 26, 2008 HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAROL!

Oct 24, 2008 Roadtrip at marabut! =')

Unwind after the Finals! roadtrip to catbalogan

October 20, 2008 First year BREAKsary! and Happy Birthday Rhing2x! hihih

October 15, 2008 - Happy 55th Birthday Mom!

im her no. 1 fan!

Random thoughts!

unwinding! =')

September 17, 2008

Rommie and Chelsey

sick again ;'(

September 10, 2008 - Wednesday

September 8, 2008, Monday

sick..sick..

hayyz. confused!

Random Recent Pictures! ;)

Updates..=

the worst week ever!

i gained weight that much ba talaga? *panic mode*

foRbidden! =(

Updates!! =) GTKY'08

FLaWeD! T-T

Mr.Flirty meets Ms. Sexy..",

Happy Birthday Ate! luvyah

You're so annoying!

Happy Birthday Jim!

urrggghh..FeELeR ='p

LOVE??? whateveR

MiXeD Up! ='p

hmmmff.

just some thoughts to ponder

Mr. Law Student--- stay away from me! =(

back to being just friends.. finally! ;)

oh moi law student! ='(

July 10, 2008.. Happy Birthday Lenai!

Good Morning! =)

Update

Oh btw.. Jackie already gave me the most recent pictures of ours last 27th and during our beach party..i’ll just post here my top picks..hehhehe

PinTaDos

IF YOU THINK THIS IS FOR YOU, THEN READ THIS.. BUT IF NOT, IGNORE..no need to assume =)

lonely trixie =(

weee! =)

when insanity strikes! =)

the lessons..=p

i gained weight that much ba talaga? panic mode